Tuesday, March 18, 2008


It's started, the Ides of March! STM and Rojo are beside themselves over basketball, and I'm just beside myself. I'm so grumpy/irritable/irrational/reactive, I'm on my own last nerve. I can hardly stand to be around myself. So, dear readers, let me warn you:


10. When I start my rant, God forbid you insert a, "Well, at least..." at me!

9. Agree with everything I say.

8. Nodding is helpful.

7. When I contradict myself, IGNORE this, don't even let your face betray you!

6. Walk on eggshells.

5. Cut me a wide path and stay out of my way.

4. Don't ask, "Was going off your meds a good idea?"

3. Don't ask if I would like a drink, BRING ONE TO ME, dammit!

2. I will not be wearing make up or doing my hair today, nor getting out of my pajamas, tell me I've never been more beautiful.

1. Expect tomorrow to be very much the same. Act like this is just fine with you.

Jess, my music aficionado, turned me onto Lucy Kaplansky yesterday. No accidents. Check out her song, "The Tide." Sing it, Lucy! Just don't say, "Well, at least..."

The Tide

There are demons in the water
There are devils in the sea
There are dangers in the current
When the tide goes out of me

I could drink you under the table
I could drink you out of town
I could drink you off the planet
Drink myself into the ground


And I have nothing for you tonight
I have nothing for you tonight
I have nothing for you tonight
I have nothing for you

I was made to be a good girl
Carried buckets made of stone
Full of envy, full of sorrow
On a tightrope all alone

And all the time I was on fire
I burned with every stride
And now I see this anger
Is the horse I choose to ride

Now you say you want something nice from me
Well if you find it, take it, it's on me
In the meantime don't bother me
The tide has washed the nice from me


In the nothing are the voices
And the pictures of my life
In the nothing of the sky
Is an ocean made of light

In the nothing of my silence
Is a sad-eyed little girl
On a tightrope she is singing
As she passes through this world



La La said...

Nodding here. Sending you a latte with WHOLE MILK and a couple of cheese danishes OR a cold beer and NACHOS--your choice!


Kim said...

I love it!! Now, here is your Corona with lime, CP, and may I just say: you look fan-fucking-tastic! (I know you enjoy it when I write "fuck.")

Those are amazing lyrics. Wow. You just ride this tide wherever you need it to go. I am a strong believer in the cleansing powers of letting ourselves really FEEL our moods. They're there for a reason.

Anonymous said...

Carrie, you look beautiful. Send me your address and I will send you a CD -- lots of Sheryl Crow for you. xox

Anonymous said...

You need less thinking and more sex. Happiness is in the mind but the best way to calm the mind can be through your body. Let some one relieve all that tension.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you Carrie!!! Let it be and go with it. It is good to actually feel again, although it may not seem like it today.
You are beautiful, inside and out.

drama mama said...

We must live parallel lives. I lost it with my students today and when I walked through the auditorium today, I overheard a kid say to another, "Get out of here before she sees you! Don't look at her!"

I need a vacation.

You look incredible. You are brilliant. Please accept his lemon drop martini.

Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

10. I'm cold, the heat of your rant will warm me. 9. Never known you to be wrong. 8. Nodding like a bobble head 7. That parallel universe Carrie always does the opposite, doesn't she...let's ignore her. 6. Eggshells, especially when crushed are so good for the garden. 5. Parting the seas for you, girlfriend 4. Never! 3. Only one? 2. Impeccable...as always. 1. Consistency can be sooo good!
Love, love and MORE love