Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I am finally, FINALLY, reading the book, Their Eyes Were Watching God. I've had it on my shelf for at least 7 years. It's been recommended to me countless times. People I love have told me it's their FAVORITE book.

But I didn't read it.

I tried. Just couldn't do it.

Now I am. Now I can't put it down. Now I am blown away by the writing. The language. The story.

And Janie.

And how 'bout that Zora Neale Hurston? Her story of publication and posthumously being recognized as the scholar she was.

What I am choosing to focus on as a theme of the book, is being "chosen."

I get that. I get the thrill of being selected from the throngs, made to feel special.

Then being put up on a shelf to stay nice and look pretty, but not be able to shine in your own glory.

I get that.

I dreamed all night of such a thing. I took part in a semester-long class with a man that everyone thought was it on a stick. There had been a personal crisis at home and the last day of class I wasn't able to turn in all my work. I'd DONE it, but I didn't bring it with me.

At the end of the class the teacher announced he was going to marry me. He thought that nullified my need to turn in my homework. After all, wasn't marrying him better than getting the A?

Not for me. I forged my way back to my house and gathered up all the work I'd done. Then I turned it into him. I wouldn't marry him until he recognized the work I'd done and checked it off in all the official places.

He did.

Then I decided I wasn't going to marry him, even if he chose me.

I didn't choose him.

God, if I had half the resolve in my waking life that I had in my dreaming life, well, I'd be twice as far on the journey that I am.

But at least I'm choosing my own journey now.

That's something, right?


lo said...

Yes! Choice is HUGE!!!!

Michelle O'Neil said...

That is my favorite book of all time. ALL TIME!

Good for your dream self. I don't think she and Ms. Awake are as far apart as you fear.


deb said...

That's very big. I don't know if you read her already but you might enjoy Flutter.


marge said...

I agree with Michelle. I don't think your you and your dream self are very far apart. I love you.

Jerri said...

Great, great book.

Sometimes we're not ready for a certain book the first time we pick it up. We need to live our way into its message. And when we do, it's on the shelf waiting for us.

And about that journey? We're where we are because it's the right time for us to be there.

No accidents.

La La said...

So, I'm sitting at the coffee house yesterday GRADING papers, and this teenage boy asks if he can sit at my table. I say, "yeah, sure." He pulls out a book. I ask, "what cha reading?" He says, THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD. I say, "That's one of my all time favorite books. I wrote a paper about it in grad school. I just love Janie." He looks at me like he's just made the biggest mistake of his life by choosing to sit at my table. So I shut up and let the boy read!

Glad you are reading it. Love it. Love it. Love it.

You do have amazing dreams. I'm with Michelle, not as far from your awake self as you think.

Eileen said...

I am going to get that book. I too, keep hearing great things about it, but never bought it. It is time.

You and your dreams....there is definately a connection between your awake/sleep state. The two are just dying to merge and get those messages across to you. I think your doing a pretty good job figuring out what some of those messages are. Choices are always a huge step.

Wanda said...

Sounds like one I need to read. Thanks.

Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

It feels good to choose, doesn't it?! I think the difference is making conscious choices and not just choosing smorgasbord style (i.e. from options that someone else determined appropriate).

kario said...

Love that dream! I'm aspiring to have that dream tonight, dude!

Amber said...

Yes! And your dream is powerful.

I have not read this either. But it sits on MY shelf, too!LOL
Someday. Boy I only have about a billion unread books.


Molly said...

First time here. I tried to read that book too and just couldn't get hooked. Maybe I need to try again.....
Seems like youth really is wasted on the young....So many people, me among them, don't really realise who they are and what they want from life until they've become someone else and made choices from someone else's list of options.....