TOP 5 REASONS I'M TOTALLY COMING
BACK AS MY HAIR IN MY NEXT LIFE
- It is a true non-conformist. It does not care what the style is, was or is going to be. It calls the shots.
- It is impervious to perms, color, bad haircuts, it still maintains its own agenda.
- It has strong boundaries. Where the part is, the part is. Not one hair crosses over the part line. Each side is clear about their "zone".
- No matter how many different hair dressers try, all cuts end up looking like some small variation of the hairstyle I've had since first grade.
- It defies color "labeling". It is not, nor ever has been primarily one color or another. It refuses to be put into some neat box that can be checked off, or identified on a driver's license. It's its own color.
TOP 5 THINGS I'M ALMOST TOO EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT
- My son now tells everyone he sees that there's "not a bruise on him", since he's heard his mother boast all summer that she hasn't beaten him.
- My son can make the "put me in a straight jacket" pantomime like nobody's business, after seeing his mother model such behavior all summer.
- My son is impervious to being told, repeatedly, that he is killing me.
- My new favorite word is "impervious".
- I spend a lot of time trying to maintain sanity by devising top 10 lists and choosing my new favorite word.
11 comments:
You didn't put a photo of your hair on the site...I need to see this in order to make my fashion decisions! Hurry (and include your stylists number).
Two lists in one day....F-ING BRILLIANT! You have topped yourself, yet again.
I'm coming back as one of your children.
Think about it--with a mom like you, they have a constant source of material for stand-up comedy, the genetic material for fabulous hair, AND access to the best coffee in the world.
Nirvana.
Same hairstyle since first grade? You've got me beat. I've only had the same hairstyle since second grade when my mom talked me into growing out my bangs.
Need a new word check out the colbert report on comedy central at 8:00. It's on channel 60 and if memory serves me correctly you have free cable much to your son's delight.
p.s. He doesn't care about the free part.
what about the shoes?
clarification - nobody said the hair was fabulous, only able to stand on its own two feet and answer to nobody!
Let’s see, I've known you for forty years and always thought your hair was fabulous. But I was most impressed by what you are almost too embarrassed about. Are we related? I think that in another year or two I'll have two kids telling me, each other and every person that they encounter that they are lucky they have no bruises, and I am fairly certain that I will end up in a straight jacket. Do I need to be calling Rojo? I haven’t done so yet but am quite happy to; in fact the whole zoo can talk with him if he is in the mood. Just let me know. And… thanks for the chuckles.
Lots of love,
Molly
Clarification: The ability to stand on your own to feet and answer to nobody is the DEFINITION of fabulous, my love.
Hey- you can give Richard and Gilles some tips on the hair stuff!!
I repeat, you are a N.U.T.
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