Friday, August 04, 2006

COMPASSION
I thought I'd take the heat off me, and write something "fluffy" today. I've recently covered religion and sex, and am in no position to talk politics. The problem is I've stirred up a hornet's nest talking about "Brokeback Mountain" and "Transamerica", and I'm kinda proud. I am proud that we have a forum like the Internet to sound off on our opinions. I'm proud that in America in 2006 people have more freedoms and choices than they've ever had before. I'm proud that my blog has brought out some touchy subjects and made me think long and hard about what I think long and hard about.
First, let me make a correction, I spelled evangelical wrong in my "Reverse Discrimination" posting. I apologize. I appreciate all the comments generated by that posting. I am again encouraged by my readers' open-mindedness on the issue raised. I also apologize if I over-shared, and made any of the people mentioned in the posting uncomfortable. I again appreciate that we live in this day and age where religion can be debated intelligently in this country, and not violently, at least on the Internet, but I am not going to get political here.
What I am choosing to take from all the homosexuality in a heterosexual marriage controversy, is that compassion must be applied liberally. I am not gay. I am not married to a gay man, true. I have been the love interest of more than one gay man, however, and am the offspring of one. I know that pain. I do not know the pain of living in a culture that is threatening to one's nature. I am not in a position to know if one pain is harder than another. I do know that pain is pain, and the only anecdote to pain is compassion.
If I sounded uncompassionate, I am truly sorry. I'm passionate about compassion. I am also passionate about living in love, and not fear, and still maintain that choosing fear over love is selfish. Do I completely understand why someone would choose to make a choice out of fear and not love? Absolutely. Do I have compassion for that choice? Yes. Would I most likely make the same choice myself? Maybe. We truly don't know what we would or wouldn't do unless we walked a mile in another's shoes. Would I wish the pain of living in a culture that is not readily accepting of all people, on anyone? Never. Do I hope that I am raising children that will markedly make a difference in the world, and be compassionate, passionate, loving and fearless humans? Every day, all day long.
With that, I passionately apologize to all the people put-out by my postings, and passionately appreciate all those that took time to comment. I have learned from this, and I thank you.

12 comments:

kario said...

You are a wonder, Carrie! Thank you so much for your willingness to push on through the debates instead of cutting and running. I love that you never take the easy way out!

Suzy said...

How can YOU above of all people ever sound or be uncompassionate?
Could never ever happen......
You are certainly a role model.

Michelle O'Neil said...

There was so much hurt flying around from all sides on this topic. All good people with true hearts. All who would never want to hurt another.

It is good to have a forum to let it all out, look at it from all angles and gain more understanding.

Your blog is great Carrie and YOU are fabulous!

Anonymous said...

I never wanted to make you feel uncompassionate.

From your original post, I had sensed that this was very personal for you....and let me say that I am very sorry that you were hurt as a child by the choices of a gay parent. The closet does indeed hurt everyone involved.

As I said, I have been very fortunate to live in a time and place where my partner and I do not have to be anything but who we are. I am 33 and even friends who are merely 10 years older than I am, didn't have all the options that were available to me - or least they didn't feel as if they had the options.

I do have older friends that married and produced children in heterosexual marriages and ultimately left those marriages to live in truth - and I can't tell you what a painful choice it was....as often the hurt spouse (justifiably hurt) threatened to use their homosexuality against them in custody hearings.....or threatned to out them in the community/church/work often before the person was emotionally ready to handle being outed to everyone. What these people tell me over and over is how much they love their children....and fear of losing them and being kept from them was the strongest reason for staying in the marriage as long as they did. Is that selfish - yes....but even if you can't undersand as a gay person - maybe you can understand it as a parent's fear of losing their child.

You must be very special indeed to be the object of so many gay men's affection....as gay men often have very good taste.

Thank you for creating a space where two people with different views can understand each other better, appreciate each other's experience, and learn from each other.

Carrie - I'm not so anonymous to you.....You don't know me, but we have emailed each other before....and you seemed to think I would be a valuable member to "the team" - I hope that hasn't changed.


Much gratitude - Elisabeth C./Anonymous Lesbian

Wanda Tucker said...

This is truly magnificent. Thank you. Your compassion and passion come through loud and clear. Thanks for letting me eavesdrop on this conversation.

Go Mama said...

Wow. What a circle.
...and compassion brings, hopefully, peace.
May everyone have a fantastic weekend.
Thanks Carrie.

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're doing what all great teachers strive to do.....get people thinking........the thing about thinking is that we waiver in our own thoughts sometimes......we change direction.....but hopefully through it all we continue to grow......and to grow in compassion and understanding...now that's something to celebrate..........this blog has come a long way.......you are in deed on an interesting journey and you seem to have many passengers...glad i'm one of them........actually there seems to be alot of us...anonymous+s

Jenny Rough said...

Carrie! Your blog gets better and better with every posting. I just absoultely love Fully Caffeinated and have absolutely loved "getting to know you" through your writing. Keep up the excellent work!

Carrie Wanna Be said...

See, I knew you were on your way...I've been here from day one...thank goodness for your remarkable and BRILLIANT clarity! You are like a vast and expansive and perfect crystal!

Reverse Stalker said...

It's high tea time that your glory was recognized! I add my applause.

jennifer said...

Nice work, Link, you are indeed the link to wisdom and compassion.

NursePam said...

Carrie, your Transamerica post was beautiful, authentic, and heartfelt. As a lesbian woman who engaged in heterosexual relationships in my younger days, I can honestly say there but for the grace of God go I.

IMHO, you have nothing to apologize for. But it speaks highly of you that you do care this much about the feelings of others.

*hugs*