Carrie Link

JUST TO GIVE YOU SOME INDICATION

I am so beyond ready for school to start, I can't even tell you. No amount of Top 10 lists can adequately convey the tenuous grip I have on my sanity. Just to give you some indication of how bad things have gotten, I've composed a little list of the crazy cuckoo levels to which I have sunk:

• I wrote with a blue pen in my checkbook register. I have had this same checking account since 1981, and have only used black, ONLY!
• I didn't iron the wrinkled balls of 100% cotton that used to be my pretty pillowcases, before shoving pillows into them.
• I went to bed without washing my face or brushing my teeth. Again, something I have not done since 1981.
• I (briefly) considered buying the DVDs of "Alf" when I saw them advertised in the paper!
• I decided I needed a haircut and determined it couldn't possibly wait the 4 weeks remaining until my scheduled appointment. So while driving down the street and seeing "Supercuts" in my peripheral vision, I swerved the car in, had six inches chopped off, paid, and was back on the road in less than 1/2 an hour.
• I have declared war on alternative spellings of names. STICK WITH THE TRADITIONAL, People! C'mon! I'm fragile! I can't take it! These impossible to remember names are the last straw for me!

The list goes on and on, but I think you see what we're dealing with here. The scene here is not pretty, not pretty at all.