Carrie Link

RULES OF COOPERATION

Part II

A. Feelings

1. Anger

#1. "I have a resentment for you, will you hear it?

#2. "When you do or say ___________, I feel ___________."

#3. Nothing! No discussuion except: "I hear that you are angry."

2. Fear

#1. "I'm feeling afraid, will you tell me what is true about my fears?"

#2. "What is true about your fear is this ____________"

#3. If the fear is only party true, give a reassurance: i.e. "I don't feel angry. I was disappointed but I know you would have if you could."

3. Strokes

#1. "I have a stroke for you, will you hear it?"

#2. "When you do or say/did or said, ___________, I feel/felt _______"

#3. Nothing! No discussion except: "I hear you."

B. 100%

"I will tell you what I would really like from you, and I want you to tell me what your 100% from me is." "I want to negotiate so that both of us can get what we need."

OK, try them out and tell me what you think! I'd love to hear from you!