Saturday, June 03, 2006

THE ABC'S OF DYSFUNCTION
I made a startling discovery last night, not everyone understands dysfunction! Wow! I'm truly amazed. Even if you were fortunate enough to grow up in a functional family, you'd think with enough Maury Povich you'd eventually catch up. That not being the case, however, I am oh so happy to offer my vast knowledge on the subject:
  • ABJECT POVERTY: Banks? Money existing anywhere beyond their person? No.
  • BOOZE: Most likely a huge part of the problem
  • CREATIVE: What the lies are that dysfunctional people tell themselves, and are amazingly able to get others to believe
  • DRAMA: Count on lots of that
  • ENVY: What children of dysfunctional families have towards functional families
  • FRIENDS: The ones that know nothing about what really goes on behind closed doors
  • GAMES: The little things alcoholics and other addicts play to get their fixes
  • HUMOR: What you use to overcompensate for your pain
  • INTEGRITY: What addicts are willing to sacrifice for their habit
  • JUSTICE: What doesn't exist and you don't even know it
  • KINDNESS: What you receive from others that makes all the difference in the world
  • LOYALTY: What children have, fiercely, for their dysfunctional parents
  • MONEY: One of addicts' favorite tools of manipulation
  • NAIVE: What children of dysfunctional families are, surprisingly, in many aspects
  • ON GUARD: Always
  • PRIVATE: You want a secret kept? Tell children of addicts, they are bred to keep secrets.
  • QUIVERING: A normal state of being
  • RELAXED: A highly uncomfortable state to be in, unsettling and fought against
  • SECRETS: The tenets of the family, those which are never discussed but clearly understood
  • TROUBLE: What you never want to be in if you are the first born, and what you are always in if you are the middle child
  • UNDERSTANDING: That which you cannot fathom anyone has for you
  • VALUE: That which you have no appreciation for yourself, as it is so distorted by the families dysfunction
  • WALLS: That which must be erected to survive, emotionally
  • eX-TREME: A concept you do not understand, as "typical", "normal", "average" are not part of your vocabulary
  • YAWNING: The distance you eventually put between you and your dysfunctional family, if only emotionally and not physically
  • ZYGOTE: What you are hoping in your next life will result in a whole different set of outcomes

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I was also thinking safety, boundaries, and acknowledgement which vary so much from childhood to adulthood. I think you covered those within your definitions. Interesting. T

Anonymous said...

Carrie well said and oh so true.Thank you for making me understand.My Father was a alcoholic.M

Anonymous said...

Carrie, I made a startling discovery last night: I do not understand dysfunction. That's why I was so glad to have you explain a bit to me with humor and candor. Why is Oprah making so much more money than you? So not fair. CG

Anonymous said...

CG, does anyone sdreally understand dysfunction? Are the lines a bit blurred between "normal" family interactions and dysfunction? I think what is really interesting is how quickly Carrie is able to articulate various terms and give some clarity to them for us. Carrie, you are Mr. Rogers, Oprah(with blonde hair), Larry King without the glasses, Erma Bombeck, and more. You are writing your bestseller right now. It just might all still be in your head and heart.

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