Tuesday, June 27, 2006

DON'T BEAT THE PUPPY
Imagine this scene...
I am in a bath of kosher sea salts, I am cleansing, purifying, getting my energy right. There are candles aglow all around. I am alone in the house. I am listening to Jack Kornfield's "Mediatation for Beginners" CDs. I am determined to learn meditation. How hard can it possibly be to quiet my mind for FIVE fucking minutes? Hmmmm... way harder than I ever thought.
I do the breathing, I am trying so hard, I am soaking in sea salts in a quiet, peaceful room for heaven's sake! Jack keeps bringing me back. He tells me, "It is OK if the mind wanders, it is normal, treat the mind like a puppy. Put the puppy on the newspapers, when the puppy walks off, pull the puppy back, over and over again. Be gentle with the puppy, DON'T BEAT THE PUPPY!" That was the last straw. I dissolved into laughter. C'mon, don't beat the puppy? How can one meditate after an image like that? Not that puppy beating is in any way funny, it's not, it's pathetic and depraved, but nonetheless, I am finding it hysterical. I've got a whole "Don't beat the puppy" rap going on in my head to the tune of "Who let the dogs out." "Don't beat the puppy, bam, bam, don't beat the puppy, bam, bam..."
I'm pretty sure this in not what Jack Kornfield intended. I'm pretty sure quieting the mind did not mean invent new words to already annoying tunes. I'm pretty sure I'd better lower the bar and set my intent to meditate for 1 minute. Rome wasn't built in a day, and my restless mind won't quiet in a day, either.

10 comments:

jennifer said...

Great! So funny! Don't beat the puppy! That's your mind, goof. Your mind is the puppy, go easy, be gentle, all will get better!

kario said...

I have the same trouble "quieting" my mind. I'm impressed that you were able to get the house to yourself and the bathtub to yourself with candles and a CD playing. Good for you!

Wanda Tucker said...

Ah...salt bath. Laughter is a good meditation, too.

Suzy said...

Try meditating with 2 noodle head dogs rolling around the floor and grabbing each other's tail and then barking....

Lee Wolfe Blum said...

Wow - house alone! Yipeee! I think I would have thought the same thing. You crack me up!
Lee

Anonymous said...

Carrie,thank you for my daily Fix.M

Michelle O'Neil said...

Okay,

Maybe you could give your puppy one good swat?

KIDDING!

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