Carrie Link

Dear Hallmark and every other card maker:

I'm wondering if you can help me. I'm looking for a Father's Day card. While finding rows upon rows of cards is not difficult, finding an appropriate one seems to be impossible. Maybe you could point me towards the cards you make for the gay father. How about the alcoholic chain-smoker? My father doesn't watch TV, have a dog, fish, golf or work with tools. I don't even like him that much, where are the cards that don't say how great he is and that I learned everything from him? I am not looking for a sweet card, a funny card or one that is sentimental. Am I asking too much? I just need your basic no-frills "Happy Father's Day" card. Could you get to work on that, please?

With many thanks,
Carrie Link