Wednesday, June 14, 2006

BIG NEWS FLASH!!
This is for you, you smug moms with the non-children, and don't tell ME you don't know what I mean "non-children". You're the ones with kids that wear what you set out for them. They eat what you put on their plate. They sleep when sleeping is appropriate (i.e. past 4:45 AM). These children take group swimming lessons, they play nicely with other children, they are helpful around the house. In other words, they are too fucking perfect to even be called children, for God's sake, not that I have any problem with that.
Here's the big news, WE ALREADY KNOW OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT LIKE YOURS! You can just skip the snide remarks, the butter knives (insults that are dulled enough to be taken as possible compliments), and the helpful hints! We know exactly what you think of our kids, we used to think the same thing of other people's children, until we became the mothers of these children! So do us all a big favor, take your perfect little kid and stay the hell away from me. And don't start on me, either, I already know I have anger management issues, and you reminding me might really piss me off!

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