Thursday, April 17, 2008

IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, THE ANSWER IS NO

I came up with that one a couple days ago. What do you think?

I've been testing my new theory, and I can't find one example in my life where it doesn't apply. Every time I had doubt, and needed to ask someone(s) to help me decide something, it was because my heart already knew the answer was no, but my head wanted it to be yes. I wanted to take the wisdom of my heart and put it before a committee. And we all know that's what a camel is, right? A horse designed by a committee.

If you have to ask, the answer is no.

A yes? A true yes? Does not need a second opinion. It does not leave doubt. It does not feel dubious. A true yes is just that. True. Solid. Peaceful.

If you have to ask, the answer is no.










*Photo from Jupiter Images

17 comments:

La La said...

Thanks for that explanation. I needed it. Really. I'm a total control freak, and today, it became OFFICIAL that I need help with this "little" issue I have with needed to be in charge!

I can't believe the panic I feel when I want the yes, but I know the answer of those I ask is going to be no. I'm grateful when they do say, no, though, because they save me from making an ass of myself. This just happened TODAY.

Deb said...

We always know, don't we? Now if we could only trust that quiet voice and believe that no is the perfect answer when it comes.

kario said...

The tough part for me is examining why my head and my heart don't agree. Well, that and trusting my heart.

Love this new insight!

Sue said...

Gotta learn this one.

shauna said...

I had heard that once before and remember that it resonated with me then. It does again now. So true!

Amber said...

How flippin' true is THAT?? You are so right.

But then. You knew that.

;)

Terry Whitaker said...

So,so true.

Mama 'N Me said...

Totally agree.

The best advice I ever got in my life was this: When you don't know what to do, don't do anything. In time, the answer will be so clear that the question no longer exists.

If you have to ask....

Kathryn said...

Wow, I got a lot out of this post. And thanks Mama N Me for that bit of wisdom I will take to heart. Realized I had a question on my mind today, too, and have had for some time. Now, I am hearing that Amy Winehouse song...No, no, no...

Thanks for the therapy!

Jess said...

That beats, "What part of no don't you understand?" Actually, it's the perfect preceding question! The two love each other!

Anonymous said...

Remember there are many times when one is really afraid of the yes. It puts all kinds of new pressure on them. No can be a softly closed door where a yes can fling open a double door leading to much uncertainty. Don't you agree? I didn't think so.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Anon.,

I DO agree with you! I can think of many times when what you say is true, the yes is harder than the no, but I still contend that when there is a true yes, you KNOW it, you aren't in doubt. You might be afraid to act, but you know what needs to be done.

I invite you to reveal yourself, Anon., it feels a bit like cyber bullying to have you say provocative things but not share your name.

holly said...

I had to think and rethink this one. In the end, I'm with you. If you have to ask, the answer is no. It feels over simplified, but maybe the asking is just an appeal to ourselves when the truth conflicts with what we think we want.

Anonymous said...

I agree with anon. I don't think I always have the courage to say yes.
Gosh Carrie, cyber bullying? I think you are being a little overly sensitive. I put the gosh in there for a little bit of humor (see yesterdays blog) :)

Velvet Kitty said...

yea, but do we always need to be rational and pragmatic in our decision making?

Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

YYEEESSSS!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this and the dream interpretation techniques. Much needed to break some unhealthy patterns in relationships