Carrie Link

YOU SAY SEPTEMBER, I SAY SUNSET

To say I am a "do-er" is a bit of an understatement. It is akin to saying Portland has been "warm" lately.

I was telling Kathleen all about my grand plan to move every stick of furniture in the house to a new location, all in an effort to get everyone's junk out of "my" office, and create a real place for me to be creative.

"That's a good goal for September," she said, always the wise, careful and considerate desision maker.

"Really? September? I was thinking more like by sunset!"

We balance each other out, that's what I like to say, less kind people have said we are each other's alter egos, or the ying and yang. I know that means I'm the cuckoo, and she is is the voice of reason. With each new "great idea" I bring to my husband he says, "What does Kathleen think?" Fortunately, Kathleen's husband does the same thing with her, at least that's what I tell myself.

I need this balancing influence in my life, desperately. Kathleen has made it a rule that before I say "yes" to anything, I must run it by her. Her sole concern being the saving of my sanity and conservation of precious time and energy. This is why she's earned the title of "Preferred Spouse". Her opinion is what is in my best interest. This is so hard to pull off with an actual spouse, because what is in their best interest can seem in direct conflict to yours. There's just so much damn compromising in a partnership.

Being selfish has been completely bled out of me by previous and present family members. My religious background firmly installed a "No Selfishness" rule. I have followed the rule to the letter.

The time has come to re-define selfishness to mean "self-care". A big difference. An important difference. A hard thing to learn. A "must do", none-the-less.