Thursday, July 27, 2006

WHAT'S THE BUZZ?
5:00 AM and I am up, the time of day my subconscious loses to the power of addiction, and my morning coffee/internet fix must be had. I love this time of day, and with any luck at all, I can get 1-2 hours of quiet time in before the famdamily starts to stir.
Not today.
"Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!"
My husband creaks down the stairs mumbling, "God damn smoke alarm battery..."
"Didn't we spend a fortune buying lithium batteries not six months ago? Were they not touted as being ten-year batteries? Did we not take every precaution available to avoid this very annoying problem?" I ask, being well on my way to full caffeination.
"*&^%$," he responds expletively.
I refill my coffee, he gets his first cup, and the two of us spend the next half hour standing under the smoke alarms, in silence, waiting to hear which one is the culprit.
"It's in the basement," I insist.
"It's on the main floor," he argues.
And so it goes, for a full half hour, until every smoke alarm in the house has been eliminated, and we're left with the knowing we are haunted. There can be no other explanation. What kind of perverse ghost sets off alarms for no reason, and please, could they do their schtick on their own time? I would really appreciate the effort more if it weren't during my very limited amount of solitude. What happened to "woo, woo, woo?" What's up with "buzz, buzz, buzz?" When did ghosts go all high-tech on me?
Now that we're all up, all crabby, all our teeth on edge, the buzzing has stopped. I have enough annoying human spirits in my house as it is, I do not need any from beyond, thank you very much!

7 comments:

lala said...

Not that I don't have complete sympathy for your situation, but --yes, that's a "but" not an "and" -- I want your annoying smoke alarms that go buzz, buzz, buzz. I've got the high pitched BEEEP, BEEEP, BEEEP sort that sound like nails on a blackboard. Not to worry, though, I've disarmed them -- that'll teach them to go crying wolf in the middle of the night!! HA!

jennifer said...

This makes a very good case for an office, out of the home, where you go and chose not to answer the phone until you have been property caffinated, internetted, balanced, fine tuned and expressed!

Jenny Rough said...

Oh, this happened to me and Ron not long ago. We went through the same ordeal . . . cussing, pulling out the ladder to eliminate every smoke alarm way up on the ceilings, etc.

Ends up it was our carbon monoxide detector. The one hidden behind our filing cabinets. Jeez.

Learning Lollipops said...

Oooooh Heavenly, To get up at 5:00a.m. and perhaps, if the cards are in your favor, have your coffee, read or write in the peace and quiet. I look forward to the weekend for that golden opportunity, yet, somehow the best laid plans go awry. So there are times like tonight that slipped by so quickly...I was having so much fun reading and writing.Later...

Michelle O'Neil said...

And Rojo? What was he doing during all this? Riley would have been in cardiac arrest.

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