Friday, July 14, 2006

years ago
made me
the happiest
on earth
still do"
Ten pages carefully cut from white tissue paper, red pen writing one or two words on a page, the pages bound with a diaper pin.
My father gave me this book of love over 33 years ago. I read it only once, put it down somewhere, and it never turned up again. I see the pages, the writing, the diaper pin, silver with a blue plastic end. I feel the shock, the surprise, and the wonderment that this came from my father's mind, then heart, then hand.
The words on the paper so unfamiliar, yet such care went into the making, I knew that perhaps he did love me, and maybe I did make him happy.
Ten years ago today I gave birth to my son, the boy who carries the sir name of my father as his first name. Ten years ago today I went from a mother of one, to a mother of two. Ten years ago marked the end of my role as my father's daughter, as we buried the man who hated his life on this earth. Ten years ago I became the mother of a boy who only knows love. He only knows compassion, peace, joy and has no needs, no wants that can be bought with money. These two men that sandwich my life, the one that brought me in, and the one that will take me out. Names the same, souls, so different. Me, so blessed to have known both. I would not fully appreciate the one, without experiencing the other.


Go Mama said...

That was lovely Carrie.

Wanda Tucker said...

Wonderful tribute to both of these men. I

Suzy said...

Compassionate and loving-no suprise-it's you.

Michelle O'Neil said...

Beautiful Carrie! Happy Birthday!

jennifer said...

Oh Honey, so great! Thank you for this beautiful and so authentic Carrie post!

Reverse Stalker said...

It's all connected, son, father, spouse, not tea. Love this post. Love you!

kario said...

Everyone else has already said it. What a fantastic post. What a gift to your father and your son you are/were.

Anonymous said...

You made me realize there is a reason to have a bad I could raise a loving, wonderful son to be a man. T

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to Wil. I have been thinking of him. Hope he has a happy day.


Anonymous said...

That boy of yours touches only those that allow themelves to be touched in a deep recess of the are the lucky lady to feel the depths of your soul daily because he guides you there...without him you would never experience the depth you do now.........nor you would the fantastic writer you are without him.......he has given you a voice.........he is a gift

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