Saturday, July 22, 2006

CONSPIRACY THEORY
For days now Oregonians have been getting warned of the heat wave coming, record breaking highs, days on end in the high 90s and 100+. Everyone's talking about it, worried about it, totally obsessed with it. I HATE heat, would actually prefer to live somewhere that never gets above 75 degrees, but c'mon people, it's July! It is ALWAYS hot in July, especially this week of July, in Oregon, always. Count on it, plan for it, expect it, make your summer plans accordingly, but for God's sake, don't panic!
Kathleen, my preferred spouse and faithful walking buddy, said she thinks it's a conspiracy theory. Just like all the hoopla in the winter over snow and ice storms, the weather service is in bed with Wal-Mart, they want everyone to freak out, and run to their nearest big box retailer and snap up every last fan, air conditioner and wading pool. She's totally right. The troubling thing to me is, what is wrong with these people? How can they possibly be caught unprepared year after year? Who waits until the hottest day of the year to go out searching for a cooling method? Who waits until the first flakes of snow fall to go get their winter tires put on? Apparently, almost everyone! My mind is boggled! How can you be totally unprepared, year after year? Where is all the stuff you bought last year when you were in this exact predicament? Huh? Did you use it all and throw it away? Where does it go? I am completely confused.
If this panicky, reactionary thing is going on everywhere, what does that say about the mental well-being of our fellow planet dwellers? Frightening! AND, just what am I supposed to do about it? I guess I'll just stay inside my cool house, and wait for cooler heads to prevail. Either that, or get over to Wal-Mart just to break up the monotony of preparedness.

10 comments:

Jenny Rough said...

Hey if the global warming theroists are right just think of how crazy the population of this whole planet will be in a few years.

Go Mama said...

How 'bout a nice tall glass of iced cappucino?!
That'll cool ya down.

(I NEVER run out of beans)

Carrie Wanna Be said...

God it is too hot to even think about all this...did anyone know this was coming? Are there fans left at the stores???

Carrie Junkie said...

You are so on top of it, you are my role model! And you are funny and great and just...too great! Stay cool, girl!

Reverse Stalker said...

See, I have air because I am ready and nothing, I mean, NOTHING on God's Green Earth is going to keep me from a nice HOT cup of tea.

Green, to keep me sharp and pure.

Faith said...

A woman prepared is a women ready to take action on the world that needs her!

Go girl!

Anonymous said...

The "stuff" yearly goes to the Eastmoreland garage sale so all the morelandites can pay top dollar each year for the new and improved product this year.

Anonymous said...

I've seen two movies in packed theaters during the heat wave. Discovered the Laurlhurst Theater sheap tickets, beer and pizza, good people watching, seems most costumers arrived on bikes, and everyone has to pee during the film because of all the beer they drank. I think I'll go back during the next 100+ day no matter what is showing.

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