Monday, July 24, 2006

To say I am a "do-er" is a bit of an understatement. It is akin to saying Portland has been "warm" lately.
I was telling Kathleen all about my grand plan to move every stick of furniture in the house to a new location, all in an effort to get everyone's junk out of "my" office, and create a real place for me to be creative.
"That's a good goal for September," she said, always the wise, careful and considerate desision maker.
"Really? September? I was thinking more like by sunset!"
We balance each other out, that's what I like to say, less kind people have said we are each other's alter egos, or the ying and yang. I know that means I'm the cuckoo, and she is is the voice of reason. With each new "great idea" I bring to my husband he says, "What does Kathleen think?" Fortunately, Kathleen's husband does the same thing with her, at least that's what I tell myself.
I need this balancing influence in my life, desperately. Kathleen has made it a rule that before I say "yes" to anything, I must run it by her. Her sole concern being the saving of my sanity and conservation of precious time and energy. This is why she's earned the title of "Preferred Spouse". Her opinion is what is in my best interest. This is so hard to pull off with an actual spouse, because what is in their best interest can seem in direct conflict to yours. There's just so much damn compromising in a partnership.
Being selfish has been completely bled out of me by previous and present family members. My religious background firmly installed a "No Selfishness" rule. I have followed the rule to the letter.
The time has come to re-define selfishness to mean "self-care". A big difference. An important difference. A hard thing to learn. A "must do", none-the-less.


lala said...

None-the-less, it is a boundary thing! I have complete confidence in your abilities to establish and hold on to your selfishness! You go girlfriend!

Ziji Wangmo said...

You have to take care of yourself, because no one else will. I love you friend's titled of "Preffered Spouse"! There's nothing, NOTHING better than a good girlfriend.

Michelle O'Neil said...

This is YOUR life Carrie. You deserve a little bit of it, no?

Carrie Junkie said... sunset!

Reverse Stalker said...

...if Kathleen wants to take a little break, you know, to grab a cuppa tell her I'll take over as your preferred, I am all about grounding and supporting and being reasonable!

Carrie Wanna Be said...

See, it's like this...break it all down...



It's not even a real word.

It's sel...

and fish

Sel = an abreviation for select, selected, selection

Fish = a limbless cold blooded vertbrate animal with gils and fins living wholly in water. Alive, they are out of here, swimming away, in the water, down the river (or up if it's spawning) or across the aisle at the market, slippery and dead with bulging eyes. Fish, food for some. Sport for others. Go biblical and there's the you duplicating of the fish to feed the masses...Christ...the fish of life...

I mean honestly, it goes on and on and what were we talking about again???



Hug hug. You You!

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Carrie Wanna Be - You've taken it to a whole new level with the sel and fish. Take an A, I think!?

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