Saturday, June 14, 2008

A JURY OF MY PEERS

I went to a book talk last week, a fund raiser for our school. Basically you pay, get a book, come back in a few weeks to talk about it, drink a lot of wine, eat a lot of food, and shoot a lot of &%@#.

The leader of the group said, "Next year we'll all be reading Carrie's book at this event!" I tried to laugh it off by saying, "Well, in order for that to happen, I'd need to find an agent tomorrow, he/she would need to sell my book the very next day, and then maybe, MAYBE the book would actually be in print a year from now."

"Well, that's OK, if it's not, we'll just run it off at Kinko's!"

I could have barfed.

As I looked around the room and realized that either A) My book would be in print eventually and they would all read it, or B) My book would never be in print and they wouldn't all be reading it, I went into a panic.

I've asked lots of people to read the book through all its many drafts. I've picked people that know me, love me, accept me, and for the most part, are fellow memoirists. They "get it." But what am I going to do if people that live and breath, work and play, raise children and judgments right here in my own backyard, actually read this? And don't even get me started on my family! No one with a single drop of shared blood has read a word of it.

It finally dawned on me, over a week since that book talk night, that people in my own backyard, and certainly my family, may very well "get it," too.

How dare I stand in judgment of THEM! How dare I decide they just aren't the "getting it" types!

After all, to borrow my favorite quote I got from Jenny Rough's blog, "The more personal, the more universal."

9 comments:

lo said...

YES!
xoL

Sue said...

Still wearing my pearls, babe.

Go Mama said...

That's the spirit, C...or as I say, at this point I've been through (and survived) so much in my life that I just don't care what other people think.

Go forth boldly and say what it is you came here to say!!

Anonymous said...

Let the presses sstart rolling. the chance you take is they might not get what you intended but perhaps they will get something more, the unintended because it will be there as well.

riversgrace said...

Yep, my thoughts exactly. And, anyway, if they don't get it, you're presenting a new opportunity for them.

I can say with certainty that every woman will get it, and every man will understand something that perhaps they've never been given the gift of seeing into.

Your experience and your words are a gift. You've done a beautiful job of describing a particular territory that not many mothers, wifes, daughters speak to out loud. That is a gift.

Let the gift be the gift, and all the diverse winds move around it.

Love what Sue said....I've been wearing my purple ones in honor of you!

riversgrace said...

Crap, my long comment was just eaten by blogger.

Hate when that happens...

I'll try again later.

Love, love and more love for this post, though. You know I am behind you all the way.

Jerri said...

Keeping the faith for you, my friend.

love.
j

Jenny said...

I do love that quote. Can't wait to read your memoir!

Amber said...

Oh, that quote is brilllliant.

:)