Thursday, July 23, 2009

THEY'RE BACK

The kinds of deep, powerful, vivid and memorable dreams I had two summers ago that helped to change my life, are back. They took a long break and I missed them, but they are gloriously back and with their return has come an unexpected bonus: I seem to wake up "knowing" what they mean.

I could be wrong, however.

But even if I am, there is nothing better than waking up with a sense of clarity - even if it means you have to now get off your butt and make things happen.

Last night I was standing on a precipice, trying to throw a laundry line from my little edge way over to the other side. How I thought I was going to actually STRING the laundry from the line is a whole other issue. But as I stood there throwing, my foot slipped, and I started to go over. I would have died for sure, but I grabbed on to some measly clump of dried grass and hung on for dear life.

Then I pulled myself back up to safety.

Next dream I was in a car with Deb. She was driving us along a road that was at a 45 degree angle, and to stay on our side of the solid yellow line, we would have had to defy gravity. So we didn't. She drove on the wrong side of the road with all the confidence in the world that we'd be fine, and her confidence filled me, and I, too, knew we'd be fine.

Third dream featured a person I've never actually met but always admired, and one that represents what I'd like to be in my dream of dreams: successful author. In the dream I kept dancing (literally - like a fairy) around this author, unable to speak or make actual contact with them.

When I woke up I knew two things:

1) I love the estrogen patch that allows me to sleep through the flippin' night again.

2) I have been scared, and my fear is what (and only what) is keeping me from having what I want from this life.

Fear is TFBS.

Tonight I plan to dream up my action plan.

Stay tuned.


* Photo from www.avertinghumanextinction.org

12 comments:

jesswilson said...

holy clarity, batman!

i'm going to sleep IMMEDIATELY

Angie Ledbetter said...

Glad they're back!

Does this mean you will or will not be "throwing out your dirty laundry" in a book soon? Love that you're riding with Deb with all her epiphanies of warmth/acceptance lately. I want some of those kinda dreams! :)

Wanda said...

I. Love. Sleep. Glad you are sleeping so you can dream!

One of the things I know about working with dreams is that they can have more than one meaning. So is your interpretation wrong? No. Is there more to be revealed or mined from their meanings? Maybe...

And that is what makes them a gift that keeps on giving.

Wanda said...

By the way...what's the little clump of grass?

goodfountain said...

Wow, I've been thinking the same thing about myself and fear. Hmm. I think your dreams are speaking to me now too.

Full Soul Ahead! said...

Love the image of little you hovering about like Tinkerbell. Now tap that author on the shoulder and tell her how it's gonna be!

Deb Shucka said...

I love that dream, and I love that we were traveling together in defiance of gravity. It's feeling like the fear glacier is breaking loose. I look forward to what you find on the other side. Love you.

Lori said...

Sleep? They make a patch for that? I can get one? Oh, to sleep without baking in my own flesh, stewing in my own juices, feeling every growing ache and pain in the joints.

Somedays it's like I'm (gasp) almost 50. ;))

Amber said...

I will stay tuned. This post is deep! I love dreams. Man, you should take a look at mine, lately, and tell me what you think.

Just reading about you holding on just by that clump of grass, gave me anxiety in my body. I have issues. lol

:)

deb said...

I dreamed the other night of a young man. When I asked his name he told me it was Envoy. Now I just have to figure out what his message was.

Kathryn said...

Yay for dreams. I am so envious of your estrogen patch - I'm swimming in that same sea my dear, the hormones, my doctor said, "apparently bottomed out." ha ha

She said...

That damn fear! It is what holds me back too! I even removed his chair from the table, and he just won't leave!

Glad the dreams are back! I WISH I could sleep through the night!