Tuesday, May 27, 2008

"Who is it that can make muddy water clear? No one. But left to stand, it will gradually clear of itself."
Lao-Tzu
Tao Te Ching





So, I watched both these movies while away for the long weekend. I'm sure I'm the last human to see them, but that's par for the course. I don't get out much.

Anyhoo, great movies, and true stories,both of them. Both with themes of following your dreams, reaching for the stars, defying the odds, ignoring the naysayers and just DOING it!

I saw so much of myself in Hilary Swank's character in "Freedom Writers." That's the kind of teacher I was. That's the reason I'm not teaching anymore. Couldn't do it half way. Once I had two kids of my own with special needs, I just couldn't give to the other kids like I needed/wanted to. Saw so much of my husband in the Patrick Dempsey character, too. Tried hard, unsuccessfully, not to label the guy a huge jerk.

Was he a jerk? He just couldn't hang with her once her passion took over her life. That's not what he signed up for. Are we automatically jerks when we say, "Hey, I didn't sign up for this, and I know myself well enough to know I can't do this, I'll only pull you down with me." Does that make someone a jerk, or just honest?

And what about her character? Should she have chosen her husband over her life/passion/career? When do ones vows to another become null and void? Can marriage survive one outshining the other, or must the shiniest dull it down? Wouldn't want anyone else to feel bad! Gotta keep everyone's ego in mind when out there pursuing your dreams!

And in "Once" two musicians come together to prove the point that two heads are better than one, that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

I've got a story like that one, too. The story couldn't hold tight, though. The whole got too great, now we're back to two separate sums. Doesn't mean the whole wasn't really great, though, while it lasted.

In both movies the main characters had parents that were solidly in their corner. Perhaps that was the aspect that touched me the most. Although I didn't have a parent that believed in me like that, can I be that parent? Can I be the parent that listens to my child's music and says, "Fucking brilliant!" like the father in "Once?"

Can I be the mother that watches the granddaughter so my daughter can go pursue her dreams?

Can I be the parent that helps my child do whatever it is they want to do, even if what they want to do is not what I want them to do, like the father in "Freedom Writers?" Can I get on board like that? Can I admit when I'm wrong, when my child knows more than I think they know, when their passion is all consuming, can I get behind it, instead of in front, blocking it?

Both movies stirred me, muddied the waters of what I think.

Good movies do that.

9 comments:

Deb said...

I loved "Once", haven't seen the other. The song that they sang was haunting. And for some reason your blog is loading much better now so I can leave comments. Yay!

Eileen said...

Carrie,
WOW. This post touched me on so many different levels that I am officially overwhelmed with emotions. My own stuff. Great, great points, amazing questions. Questions that sadden and scare me. Time to do some refection and deep thought, in some pretty muddy waters.
Love.

Kathryn said...

I love that quote and I have not seen the movies either, so as one recluse to another, thanks for the recommendations. I always appreciate good movie and book advice.

La La said...

I've seen Freedom Writers a bazillion times, but I'm the last one to see ONCE because I've not seen it yet!!!

Once again, your writing provokes all kinds of emotions! Thanks.

Jess said...

Interesting take on those, thank you. I'll have to rent Freedom Writers. I just saw Once last week, you're not the only one who does get out much....

Terry Whitaker said...

I haven't seen either one, yet--but am totally dealing with whether I can be the kind of parent who allows the inner purpose of my children to shine through to their outer. Or even one who is capable of teaching them to listen to their inner "consciousness"

Awesome post.

kario said...

You can be whatever the he** you want, my dear.

And you're not the last person to see these movies - I haven't seen either of them.

Puttin' them on my list, now.

Go Mama said...

All good questions you raise.

I do think people outgrow each other, or come together then move in different directions. Even family members. Especially family members. The trick, I think, is to be able to hold the space for loved ones even when they no longer resonate with where we are. (Not saying I've mastered that one.) And being able to lovingly let them go when they no longer serve us or are a fit.

Principle of physics: Like energies always attract like energies. As we grow and evolve, certain people, surroundings, energies simply leave our space (dramatically or gradually) as they are no longer a match.

No one's asking you to dumb it down, only that you be as shiny as you can possibly be. Elevate. That's the goal. Rise, sistah.

Be the love that you already are! Then watch as it materializes around you.

Everything is always in divine and perfect order...even when it doesn't feel that way.

:)

Drama Mama said...

Saw both movies.

I watched with my critical eye, which is hard to separate from my emotional heart.

Have to watch again.

xo