Tuesday, May 13, 2008

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL

It's just a damn good thing I'm so self-actualized, because I took my 14-year-old daughter shopping Sunday for graduation dresses, and it was a time of acute self-awareness, for me.

Standing in the tiny dressing room with her, both of us looking at the mirror, me adjusting straps and bows in the back, her in front. She at 5'6" plus, 105 lbs., barely, perky breasts, naturally golden highlighted hair, clear skin, cellulite-free body, fitting into size 0's and looking like a million bucks, and me.

There is no getting around the fact that I'm 45, that this body has born and nursed two children. That this hair can't decide what color it used to be, or is planning on becoming. That this skin has seen too much sun and not enough sunscreen. That these clothes are not part of any current, or for that matter, fairly recent, fashion. My mom would call my look "classic." My daughter would call it "old-fashioned." I would call it "very middle aged."

And that's what I am.

Shit.

How did this happen?

I can remember being the one that looked like that.

And although I can remember looking like that, I can also remember how it felt to be that age.

I'll stick with 45, thank you very much.

I wouldn't trade the "beauty" of youth, for the wisdom of age.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

At 58 I couln't agree more

Robin said...

I would however pay cold cash if I could have both. ;)

Amber said...

NOOOO kidding.

;)

Kathryn said...

What, CAN you buy it somewhere?

I wish I could say I am aging gracefully, but the truth is I'm bewildered as hell. And, you haven't seen a frumpy wardrobe until you have seen mine. I work at home and have not needed clothes for work, nor have I "gone out" anywhere really nice in a long time. I got away with it for awhile, but now it's getting quite comical. I'm sure I looked like Daisy Mae from the Dukes of Hazzard the other day - sans the boobs. :)

MY OWN WOMAN... said...

Yep, youth may have the looks....but ladies let's face it....would you rather drink Boone's Farm Wine or a fine vintage that has taken time to achieve it's perfection?

La La said...

I've never been a size 0 or anything remotely close to it, so I don't have a clue what that's like, but I do know that you LOOK GREAT because I've met you in person. And, I also know that you are one smart cookie, so my opinion is, "You are it on a stick!"

Love.

Jerri said...

Check that mirror, love. You've got both.

Go Mama said...

Oh the mirror thing. I just avoid 'em altogether.
it's all relative, isn't it? Her 0, your wisdom. Anyway, i'll bet you're still a 4 or something.

not bad.

lo said...

Wisdom is the best. Too bad it takes so damned long to 'get it.'
xoLo

Michelle O'Neil said...

It's all relative.

When you're 70 you might look back and say, "Damn I was hot at 44!

Which you are, BTW.

drama mama said...

A freaking Men, Sistah.

I keep telling myself that we are all beautiful souls walking around in skin suits, anyway.

Ah, but to have perky breasts again...

marge said...

I avoid mirrors at all costs. I do love wisdom though. Nope, I wouldn't trade youth for wisdom either.

kario said...

God, no! There's not enough money in the world to convince me to be a teenager again.

I hope, however, that your daughter is fully enjoying this time in her life and knows how beautiful she is in your eyes.