Sunday, October 19, 2008


Eckhart Tolle speaks of "touching with gentle awareness" our emotions, that are indicators and barometers of what's going on deep within us.

The astrologer I can't stop talking about, told me to not judge my emotions, but to label them - simply give them a name.

Had dinner last week with someone I consider to be wise and deeply spiritual. Told her some of the things I was struggling with, and she said three things that made a lot of sense. One was, "Whenever you're uncomfortable, a boundary has been crossed. Back up and see where it got crossed, and then determine what, if anything, you need to do about it." Then she told me that when dealing with difficult people, I can either choose to remain entangled, spending lots of energy worrying about what they're thinking, how they're going to react, what to do when they react, how to avoid that, etc., etc., etc., or I can choose to live with the discomfort of that relationship being over, and that adjustment period that comes with that knowing.

The third thing she said, after listening to me go on and on how upset I was that someone was upset with me, and I hadn't done anything, was that I was operating under a lot of assumptions there. I was assuming I knew just what thoughts this person was thinking. I was assuming where and how they got those ideas. I was assuming I had a particular place of importance in their life, and actually, I had no idea. And all my assumptions were accomplishing nothing but getting, and keeping me, upset.

She was right. Lots of assumptions. Lots of emotions I cannot name, other than "bad."

I know that what isn't love, is fear, and so I'm afraid of something, and that fear is what feels bad.

Fear is TFBS.

Here's to love. Period.

* Photo from


Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

YES! No need to blog today -- you said exactly what I was thinking.
Checked that off my list. Wanna vacuum for me to?!

Angie Ledbetter said...

People will let you down and treat you bad sometimes, no matter how much you look inside yourself...but sometimes we can't see the bigger picture of why. Maybe they're hurting too.

Treat yourself well and keep walking forward. Everything eventually shrinks in size as you move on. ;) Hugs for the journey!

Lola said...

Gosh I am dealing with a someone and number 2 and 3 so thanks for sharing and reminding me of something i KNOW but emotionally sometimes forget ....xoLo

Wanda said...

Here's to wise friends. May we all be so blessed.


amen to love period. Go check my blog if you get a chance - boy I'm getting hate anonymous comments from some right-wing Christian. I was like, what is the POINT?! Why would someone bother? So frustrating that the world is this way, but hey I guess God never promised me a rose garden....

Amber said...

Wise friend.