Carrie Link

DON'T CHANGE - STAY THE SAME

Went through old yearbooks Thursday as part of my grieving process. Read all the messages, counted up all the "Don't changes," and "Stay just the sames."

Friday morning another 31-year friend, Megan, and I drove the two hours to Eugene to attend the funeral of one of the Class of '81's finest. We had so much to catch up on, we (me, of course) drove right past all the Eugene exits.

The funeral was beautiful - the priest gave a lovely homily about how most people have a "State Fair" mentality - blue ribbons, winners and losers. Then he shared about his time with the Juanican's, and how they farm with such a different mentality. Much time is spent helping their neighbors grow the best corn possible, knowing the wind will blow their neighbors' seeds in their fields, and they will benefit. Then the next year the wind will likely blow in the opposite direction, and their healthy seeds will blow into their neighbors' fields, and benefit them. Cooperation. No scarcity.

Then the priest said Kelly was like those Juanican farmers - always helping everyone to grow the best crop.

I believe the 650+ people crowded, standing room only, in that church, concurred.

At least 500 of those people gravitated afterwards to the reception. Again, standing room only. So the class of '81 did what we do best, we got a bunch of cold beers and stood in the hall and told stories. There were plenty of "I can't believe we did __________ and didn't all get killed," tales, then one of us would remember we were at a friend's funeral, and she did get killed, and suddenly that wasn't so funny. And then it was again. Line between tears of sadness and those of happiness blurring down our cheeks.

We picked on poor Joe - the shyest guy in the class, and as soon as we got him blushing and sweating we went in for the kill.

































































































Megan and I came home yesterday, after too much eating, drinking, laughing and crying. We fell into a companionable silence and then she said, "You know how we always wrote in each other's yearbooks, 'Don't change?' I'm glad I changed!"

We all changed. And we stayed the same. And the things we loved about each other then are still there, but there is more there, too. Life. Life has happened to us all.

And we didn't change and we changed.

And we stayed the same and we didn't.

And Kelly would be proud.


(Pictured, with Joe Conklin, top to bottom: Margaret ("Sully") Sullivan, Mary Ficker, Ruth Schmidt, Paula DuChateau, Megan Light, Diza Hoglen, Karen Revis, and Mark Heidt)