Sunday, September 28, 2008


Spent most of yesterday reading this book.

Spent most of yesterday crying.

Spent most of yesterday picking at old scabs, only to find they aren't that old, or resilient, they are easily removed, and underneath is a festering ooze of anger.

Spent most of yesterday pissed off at doctors that told me nothing was wrong, support people that weren't, and everyone on the planet with typical children.

Spent most of yesterday completely turned upside down after reading the account of the mother with the 30-year-old son, still living at home, hiring prostitutes and treating them like his girlfriends.

That did me in.


But not entirely.

And that's what makes us warriors, right? Almost being done in, but not entirely?

Over and over again.

And again.


Marlies said...

Carrie,you are my Hero.Love to you!!

Jerri said...

Yes, over and over again.

This afternoon I rescued Evan, who had run out of gas IN THE PARKING LOT at his work. It was frustrating and crazy, especially because I know I'll be doing the same kind of thing as long as I live.

But it could be worse. For a long time, we didn't think he'd ever have a license.

So you keep getting up. You keep trying. You're thankful for every baby step forward.

And thankful for those who share the journey.

Bless you, Carrie. And Your Jenny, too.

kario said...

Oh, dear. Thank goodness for the callouses that build up over time as we revisit those old wounds.

Please remember to pat yourself on the back over and over again, too.


She said...

Wow! You are truly a warrior, Carrie. One I admire and love and adore!

Keep fighting!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Yes, it is. Fight on, little Mommy warrior!

Joanne said...

They're perfect synonyms - mother and warrior.

deb said...

You sound worn out woman.

Took Katie to Fort Edmonton yesterday, their last day open for eight months. She had a blast, wagon ride, danced to metis music, met lots of babies and had ice cream.

Now that I'm not responsible for all of her care, she fills me up instead of draining me dry.

Special Needs Mama said...

Yes, you are a strong, brave woman-warrior.

Jamie said...

I know so little about this subject - I learn so much from your site - I seen Jenny on Oprah and now reading your reaction I really need to get this book!!

An Imperfect Perfection said...

Hugs and Love to you... Warrior Woman.

Michelle O'Neil said...

One minute at a time Sweetie.

The mother of the 30 year old is not you.

Focus on the dimple, okay Mommy-kins?

cottontales said...

I can't read her books. I will not read ANY more books about recovery. That isn't our journey, and I have spent way too much time pissed off:)

Drama Mama said...

Yes, there's that. And then there's RoJo, patron saint of the Snack Shack, who leaves me breathless with his observations and goodness.

You are lucky, my good friend. Very lucky.

Not to discount the pain.

But remember...Our Mary was a Warrior Mother, too.

Terry Whitaker said...

You still my heart.

Amber said...

Aww, you know what?? You bet your ass that is what makes you a warrior!!! That is enough.


therextras said...

Ah, I can't say as I exactly want to read the book now.

She said...

Saw your Jenny on Ellen today. She rocks! You rock!

I can see you on Ellen! Different color couch, but hey, think about it!