Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Conquer the angry man with love.
Conquer the ill-natured man with goodness.
Conquer the miser with generosity.
Conquer the liar with truth.

"The Enlightened One"

Have a little internal struggle going - trying to discern if something I think I simply "can't" do, is something I simply "won't" do, or if there's anything simple about it at all?

How do you decide what's an impossibility, versus what's a resistance to the very thing most in need of doing?

Pretty much thinking since I'm in such a froth over it, there's my answer: If I couldn't do it, I wouldn't feel conflicted, but since I'm spending an inordinate amount of time creating elaborate structures of justification, it's a won't.

And as I'm creating these elaborate structures, the above quote pops into my e-mail. And it feels like a piece of the puzzle.

And if feels like a whole separate thing.

And it feels like both.


Angie Ledbetter said...

Don't you just hate it when Self supplies the answer you most don't want to hear? Good luck with your struggle. I'm pulling for you, and hope whatever "it" is, that it goes away quickly and stays there. ;)

Suzy said...

Maybe it's just "difficult to do".

And no, it is never simple.

Love you,


She said...

I don't know of many things that are simple.

I'm sure you'll make a good decision! I have confidence in you!

Lo wants to join our "Golden Girl Community" but I can't do all of the cooking!

Joanne said...

Often the things that matter are not simple. Best wishes ...

Jerri said...

A former counselor and dear friend used to tell me that we all tell ourselves we're "confused," but we almost always know and resort to confusion when we don't like what we know.

I have no idea whether this is true for you right now, but it's helped me lots of times. I thought it might help you now.

Michelle O'Neil said...

Wow Jerri, resorting to confusion? That's deep!

Carrie, to you, Love.

kario said...

Funny how "won't" is always a tougher change than "can't."


Don't know what the thing is, but can it be tackled in microsteps? Or possibly started to be tackled with microsteps even if you don't know if you could do the whole "thing"? Just a thought.

Deb said...

You are a wise woman, indeed. And you always do exactly what needs to be done - confusion or no.