Thursday, September 25, 2008


WHAT DO I KNOW?


I think Jerri was right when she said, "We tell ourselves we're 'confused,' but almost always know, and resort to confusion when we don't like what we know." Think she hit that proverbial nail on the proverbial head!

So - "confusion" has been cleared I know what I know. Knowing what you know is good.

Knowing what you don't know, that's good, too. So often we don't know what we don't know.

When I was at Kelly's funeral, I was talking to someone that was in my English class senior year. I told her how the subject I'd chosen for my term paper in 1981, seemed obscure at the time, and it was difficult to find information. I remember sitting across from this classmate, don't remember what her subject was, but wished I'd chosen it, as she seemed to have a big stack of books from which to draw great quotes, and I had like two.

My subject? Autism.

Wednesday My Jenny was on Oprah, talking about autism, and Mother Warriors - her book, and those of us, the mothers in the field, in the trenches, in the cross-fire.

Wouldn't have any problem writing a term paper on autism today - and what I know is I'm not confused about all my different emotions around that. I'm glad there's a broader understanding of autism in the world today, as it's really not a new "problem." I'm sad that there are so many of us "in the club." I'm thrilled there are people like My Jenny making a big difference to a big number of kids and their families. I'm frustrated with people that accuse mother warriors of not "accepting their children for who they are." I'm amused by the irony. I'm in awe of no accidents.

And I'm grateful.

Grateful to my English teacher for teaching me how to write. And do research. And put the two together.

Grateful my warrior days are, for the most part, behind me.

Grateful I know what I know - that what I am most of all, is blessed.




* Photo from http://i229.photobucket.com

7 comments:

Angie Ledbetter said...

There are always little beautiful nuggets of wisdom here. ;) Write on, Mom!

kario said...

Your active warrior mom days may be over, but you will always have the heart of a warrior.

I love that, on some level, you began preparing for this a long time ago.

No accidents.
Just love.

Jerri said...

You do, absolutely, know what you know. And it's a lot.

Watched Your Jenny on Oprah yesterday and thought of you, over and over.

LOVE (period)

deb said...

I think Jerri was right when she said, "We tell ourselves we're 'confused,' but almost always know, and resort to confusion when we don't like what we know."

I think your friend is right and when I read these words I thought, I'm not really confused, I do know what I really want, just not sure how to get there.

She said...

Paulo Freire said education is knowing that you don't know (and then finding out) and lack of education is not knowing that you don't know! My paraphrase!

You KNOW a lot!

Lola said...

GO Mama Warrior Go
Lo

Amber said...

"My subject? Autism."---

Wow. That is just SO the way it works, huh?? God is funny like that.

And knowing what you know is a freeing, freeing truth. I know for me, being able to say that I DO in FACT know what I know...no matter HOW many(guilty) people tried to make me think I was crazy. Knowing what I knew set me free.

;)