Wednesday, March 31, 2010




SAVASANA

Woohoo and I are taking a Yoga class from a Lithuanian woman. I love her heavy accent and actually find it helps me to focus, as I have to work so hard to understand her directions. She throws extra letters into her words, heart becomes hearlt. Roots becomes rloots. Sitting becomes seating. I love her and everything about her.

But as much as I love her, I want to fly completely below her radar. I want her to notice me not a bit. I want to come in, lay down my mat, disappear, and when I am done, leave. I don't want her to come over to me and help me readjust into the correct position. I don't want her to tell me with a bright smile, "Yes! This is it! Beautiful!" like she does with the others. I don't want her to have an opinion of me or my efforts one way or another, and this neurosis is just one of the many reasons I've stayed clear of Yoga for lo these many years.

On Sunday I went for a bonus class, Woohoo was still out-of-town on Spring Break and Rojo was otherwise engaged. I sneaked into the studio, found a low profile position and had almost made it entirely through the class, escaping her notice entirely. We were in Savasana - relaxation pose, also called corpse pose - I was home free. Nothing to do but lie there and breath, I mean, how can you screw up corpse pose?

Over she comes, grabbing my ankles and tugging on them gently. "Give it to me," she says. I open my eyes (corpses have their eyes closed), and she is looking at me with such tenderness it is more than I can humanly bear. She nods, repeats, "Give it to me." I "give it to her," having no idea what "it" is, but I make every effort to Raggedy Ann my legs and let her move them wherever it is she sees fit. I think I'm done, eyes closed, I breathe, relax, and suddenly she's at my temples. "Give it to me," she says.

I think it was a matter of a language barrier, I'm sure she was talking about my tension, trying to say "let go, relax," but there's something much more powerful in the phrase, "give it to me" than there is in the command, "relax." It's as though she were asking me to turn all my worries over to her - if even for a moment.

Maybe she was.

Maybe I should.

Maybe.


* Photo from www.yogaflavoredlife.com

14 comments:

pixiemama said...

she sounds great. i'll be thinking of this story when i'm at yoga flying below the radar tonight!

Leightongirl said...

I'll never rest in savasana the same way again. From now on, all I'll hear is "give it to me." Bravo.

Elizabeth said...

Oh -- I'm not sure how I'd feel if my teacher did all of this in a yoga class. I so understand your conflicting emotions about it. It's like a koan, I guess, whether to give to her or not.

jess said...

that's some powerful stuff.

Deb Shucka said...

I sense Mary's hand in here somewhere - with a Lithuanian accent. I'd hand it over if I were you, and I know you will, when you're ready.

Wanda said...

Maybe I need to come to your class.

fullsoulahead.com said...

Wow. So powerful. Such generosity in her offering to take "it."

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Wow. I think I would have started bawling right then and there.

Lola said...

it can be the most amazing feeling-when you are ready-to be in corpse pose and get one on one adjustments from your teacher. This comes from a teacher and a student:) xo

therocchronicles said...

Go ahead - give, you've got nothing to lose but your tension! Love and miss going to yoga classes, doing DVDs is great but I miss the class atmosphere.

kario said...

Yay! Do it!
(and then let me know how it feels...)

Jenny said...

I loooove being adjusted in savasana (you and I are the kind that need help relaxing - ha!). Every time I go back to LA, my teacher adjusts me in that pose, and it's nice to feel "noticed" by a teacher I adore. Once I even learned how to adjust other people so I could give them the gift (but alas, I've never tried it on anyone yet).

deb said...

I've never done yoga, but I don't like people in my personal space usually.

this was kind of amazing really.wow.

Ask Me Anything said...

great post, Care