A friend and I have been e-mailing about our own struggles to recognize, and then excise, ego from our lives, or at this point, even tiny parts of our lives.
"It's all just head trash," she said.
I'm finally starting yoga, been three times in fact now. It's been on my To Do list for about five years, make that ten. It's hard to justify adding one more thing to the already packed schedule and stretched budget, even when doing so makes all the sense in the world. What finally put the yoga puzzle into place is it's something Woohoo and I can do together, and both benefit from. Never mind that she's nearly 5'8" and weighs in under 110 lbs., it's just one more challenge for my ego to feel good about myself as I stretch and bend alongside her.
I find myself trying so hard to be at yoga when I am at yoga, and not be in my head with the endless lists running on continual loop. So little of what runs through my head is of any real value or concern, so much of it is head trash. If it's not my ego replaying a conversation, then it's just one "Don't forget to_________" after another.
I think that the next person/doctor/therapist/vet/dentist/orthodontist/teacher that says, "Just have him/her do _________ once or twice a day," might very well receive a volcanic eruption of my head trash.
There is simply no more room. My brain space is a Tandy computer that has reached it's maximum storage capacity. It's running sluggishly these days and needs a whole system clean up. Large chunks of what I've been storing need to be deleted, dragged to the trash, and deleted again. When the "Are you sure you want to delete?" question comes up, I need someone to help me say, "YES," make all the head trash go away and never come back.
Then I could put "breathe" on my list, "be," "stretch," "listen," and "love."
* Photo from http://weblogs.cltv.com/features/health/livinghealthy/yoga