Saturday, March 20, 2010


DOUBLE DATE

"Mom, let's go to the park and play basketball and then let's go to Dairy Queen and get a milkshake."

It is a gorgeous spring evening and so I agree to his requests. He runs upstairs to change from his uniform into basketball clothes. We get the calculator which he will hold in his right hand and use as a scoreboard, and a big red and black (go, Blazers) basketball to hold in his left hand. We drive to his designated park even though three parks are within walking distance of our house. He finds a court, Flicka and I find a spot in the sun and we find a bench on which to watch/wait/clap/cheer and help sing at "halftime."

We have two quarters, there is no telling him that when you divide the game into two, you end up with halves and not quarters, there are always two quarters, never four. "Mom, we'll have an eight and a two," he shouts over at us on the bench as he takes a few warm-up shots.

"A real eight minutes," I say, zipping up my jacket all the way to my chin - there's a sudden breeze and I can already tell I'm going to get cold sitting here if his "eight" turns into a 20.

He dribbles, shoots, scores, calculates, coaches, plays the fight song and is the on-air commentator for the greater part of 20 minutes. "Let's not be in a hurry," he says, reading my mind. "When we're done let's swing on the red swing and then do the tittie-totters." I fight the urge to tell him nearly fourteen-year-old boys should not be saying tittie-totter, and instead, agree to not be in a hurry.

Meg Hutchinson's new song, "Hard to Change," has been running through my head for days (when Hannah Montana's "Best of Both Worlds" isn't), the lines, "I can barely hear you, over these machines, turn them all off, and tell me 'bout your dreams," loops through my brain and I look over at Rojo. He's forced me to turn off all the machines and just be with him, "not in a hurry."

"Mom, when we are done we will go to Dairy Queen and get a small vanilla milkshake with a long red spoon and we will not be in a hurry to drink it. We will sit there and we will not be in a hurry. We will just sit there. You will not be in a hurry. Don't forget. Don't forget to not be in a hurry."

Meg's lyrics cycle back around, "Want to hear the silence in my life, but I bought all these tools to save time, well if they save so much - then where's all mine?" What's the point of having high speed Internet, DVR, answering machines, cell phones, etc., if I don't' have time to watch an eight and a two basketball quarters, and sit beside my beautiful son in a plastic bench and watch him drinking a small vanilla milkshake with a long red spoon?

"Mom?" he looks up at me between bites, "we're having a double date."

And we did.

24 comments:

Lizzy said...

This brought tears to my eyes. I can imagine that your son must drive you around the bend some days but he is amazing and he is blessed to have you as a mother.

Suzy said...

What a great visual!

Maybe we should all take Rojo's advice-"Don't forget to not be in a hurry."

Love you and Rojo and Flicka.....and the rest of the Links!

Suzy

Jill said...

i spend most of my life in a hurry and get twitchy just thinking about you watching him play basketball. what really amazes me is that you can have this experience and write it so beautifully. happy spring break. :)

Wanda said...

Built-in meditation.

kario said...

Rojo is your external conscience, I think. And he takes that job very seriously.

Love you guys.

Go Mama said...

Your son is...painstakingly...and achingly...brilliant!!

jess said...

Gawd, I love that kid. I need me some Rojo today.

Lola said...

Are you two watching me? Because you just seem to know what to share and when! I needed that so Thank You and love~

Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

Thank you. A valuable lesson.

I commit to not forgetting to not be in a hurry.

Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

And to taking my boy on a double date!

Me said...

Tears.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

"Don't forget to not be in a hurry." I LOVE that he told you that. And the double date. I miss you guys. xo

Temple Door said...

Meeting you in the agreement for presence. Miss you, love you, with you.

Elizabeth said...

So deep and profound, really, in the simplest of ways. Your patience and care affected me so much in the reading of this little slice of your life. Thank you for sharing it.

Nancy said...

Oh thank you Carrie and thank you Rojo! I have lived all of last year and most of this one in such a hurry I lost myself! It's 8am and I just made a to-do list for today that filled the page. Thanks to you guys, I just crumpled it up! :)

Deb Shucka said...

No double date ever contained more love. No quarters were ever so full. So glad you are able to find your slowly slowly in this space with your magical son.

therocchronicles said...

Don't forget to not be in a hurry...so true. Love this post.

Amber said...

Aww, what a good double date. I love that he is telling you to not be in a hurry...Boy, that is something we all need to hear over and over. And you have your own Not Be In A Hurry coach!!

Lucky.

:) ox

fullsoulahead.com said...

"Don't forget to not be in a hurry."

That boy.

Love.

drama mama said...

You have no idea how much I needed to read this today.

Pure love.

courtneywrites said...

xoxo

Ask Me Anything said...

Can I borrow him for a year?

Lori said...

The world just looks better over the top of a vanilla milkshake with a long, red spoon.

deb said...

is it okay if I tell you that this was beautiful, that it brought tears to my eyes.