Monday, March 08, 2010



PART OF ME

Two mornings in a row I've awakened from nightmares involving Flicka. Just like when I was a new mother and I dreamed I'd left the baby somewhere, or went to the closet to get a pair of shoes and there was the baby in a shoebox - you know the ones.

Two nights ago I dreamed I walked into my dad's house (he's been dead nearly 14 years), and opened the freezer in his garage. There was Flicka! She was fine, despite the fact that I was the one that had shut her in an airless, FREEZER and forgotten all about her!

Last night I dreamed I suddenly realized I'd forgotten all about Flicka and she had been locked in my car for 24-hours straight - no window rolled down, no food, no water, no potty breaks. I went running to the car when I finally remembered her, and some family was picnicking on the grass alongside where my car was parked. I then noticed someone had picked the lock on the car and one of the back doors of the car was open. Flicka had been let out by a stranger, a concerned, well-meaning stranger. When I found her she was happily lying on the backseat waiting patiently for me.

What part of me have I put in the freezer (deep freeze, even), perhaps as long as 14 years ago?

What part of me has not given myself enough oxygen, food, water and breaks, and has required that well-meaning strangers come and provide me the access to those?

19 comments:

Go Mama said...

What part of me is clearly expanding my heart to the gushing unconditional love that only a furry 4-pawed friend can offer?

And, who is that who, by her shear presence here, finally allows me to tend to some of the personal needs I have long buried under?

(Exhibit A: Who's that who is not only ON the furniture, but also all over YOU, ON the furniture!)

Love it!

kario said...

Oh, honey! First of all, I think this means that Flicka has become an integral part of this family. I hope that you can find it in yourself to take care of you and yours in the way you know you all need and let the rest go.

Love.

fullsoulahead.com said...

OMG!

Part of me is printing off this picture, framing it and putting it in my office.

Totally.

I LOVE IT!!!

therocchronicles said...

dreams certainly are interesting! I find it fascinating that you remember so much about these dreams-I think I'll remember the dreams that disturb me, and then I promptly forget.

I think you've crossed that line into caring about Flicka far more than you ever thought was possible!

but I won't even attempt to analyze your dream beyond that.

Love that photo btw...

Wanda said...

What part of you is similar to Flicka? What part of you are you deeply in love with that you never ever thought you could be? What part of you is shedding? What part of you is drooling? What part of you just wants to sit on someone's lap?

I love that you are out of the deep freeze.

Jenny said...

Ok, can't help with the dream analysis, but what a great photo. And that bookshelf behind you...I have to check that out one day.

courtneywrites said...

But she's been FINE both times!!!

Deb Shucka said...

I wish I'd thought of Wanda's questions. I love the picture and I love that Flicka is taking care of you even in your dreams. She is a wonder dog and you are a wonder, period.

Amber said...

Oh hells bells. That last paragraph. Baby, could we talk.
I love that you know it means more than you are "not a dog person." HAHA

I think you are now. :)

;)

Carol............. said...

Your post is great.......
Visions and feelings such as yours have been in my dreamtime many times over the years........they come and go as I need them......never asking me if I WANT them!

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Flicka has been such an amazing catalyst in just the short time she's been with you. That's it. I'm getting a dog.

blackknightsbrood said...

She's worked her way into your heart and your lap!

Robin said...

Here is a question --

How long have you been out of teaching and how do you feel now that you are teaching a writing class?

Ask Me Anything said...

Wow!

Suzy said...

Yep, love that rule of, "no dogs on the furniture."
Funny how that happens....
Love you.

Suzy

jess said...

stranger

jess said...

i actually think of you as the well-meaning tranger

Brenda said...

Wow. I am blown away by your insight into your dreams! Can I call you every morning. I have recurring dreams of losing my cats, carrying my cats, suddenly finding more cats. Thank HEAVENS I do not have these dreams about Jack. Got enough angst.

Dee said...

Love the photo, you both look loved.

As for your dream, good questions. Dogs connect us to our more primal selves I think, they operate on an instinctual level and thrive. Flicka seems to be connecting you with a part of yourself that's been locked away.