Monday, March 08, 2010
PART OF ME
Two mornings in a row I've awakened from nightmares involving Flicka. Just like when I was a new mother and I dreamed I'd left the baby somewhere, or went to the closet to get a pair of shoes and there was the baby in a shoebox - you know the ones.
Two nights ago I dreamed I walked into my dad's house (he's been dead nearly 14 years), and opened the freezer in his garage. There was Flicka! She was fine, despite the fact that I was the one that had shut her in an airless, FREEZER and forgotten all about her!
Last night I dreamed I suddenly realized I'd forgotten all about Flicka and she had been locked in my car for 24-hours straight - no window rolled down, no food, no water, no potty breaks. I went running to the car when I finally remembered her, and some family was picnicking on the grass alongside where my car was parked. I then noticed someone had picked the lock on the car and one of the back doors of the car was open. Flicka had been let out by a stranger, a concerned, well-meaning stranger. When I found her she was happily lying on the backseat waiting patiently for me.
What part of me have I put in the freezer (deep freeze, even), perhaps as long as 14 years ago?
What part of me has not given myself enough oxygen, food, water and breaks, and has required that well-meaning strangers come and provide me the access to those?