Friday, July 18, 2008


Y'all are going to be so disappointed when you hear what's behind Door #1, and I gotta tell you, I'm going to miss all the inadvertent intrigue/attention I've created! What's been interesting has been the speculations, and seeing how everyone's guess has more to do with them, than with me. Note to self: Most of what people say and do, has nothing to do with me. I tend to forget that one.

So, here's the whole, anticlimactic story in a nutshell:

* Last Friday a friend, and fellow memoirist, e-mailed and said, "Hey, I've got the use of a friend's apartment in NY the week of 7/21, why don't you fly out, join me, we'll write, laugh, have Beer O'Clock, etc?"

* My first response was, "I'm there!"

" My second, third, fourth... responses were, "Key-rist! I shouldn't be spending a bajillion dollars to fly 3,000 miles to go write, I should be spending that money on paying someone to stand over my desk with a gun to my head, and make me write, right here in Portland!"

* Then a brilliant friend said, "Hey! Contact the agents that still have your book, tell them you're coming to NYC, and see if they'll meet with you!"

* So I did, thinking, "If I can get even one appointment, it will be (financially) worth going."

* With each day that passed, the cost of the trip went up, as well as my blood pressure. Waiting to hear back from agents had me a total wreck. What to do, what to do?

* I started praying for signs. They appeared all over the place, like bricks to the head.

* While still waiting for responses, I went ahead and booked the ticket, planning to leave on Sunday, in case one of the agents said, "I could see you Monday."

* Right after I booked the ticket I heard back from two. Both said, "I could see you Monday."

* I'm scared.

* I'm excited.

* I'm nervous.

* I'm confident.

* I will be all alone in NYC for three days, until my friend gets there. And, while I pride myself on my fierce independence, I can't find my way out of a paper bag, I have no, ZERO, sense of direction, and the idea of being left to my own devices in NYC has me a little freaked out.

* I am, however, totally expecting to get along with the help of strangers. Strangers ask me for help all the time, I'm thinking there's some karmic activity involved here, and I will get all the help I need, whenever/wherever I need it.

* I wasn't going to blog all this, didn't want to jinx it, didn't want to risk putting it out there, then potentially having to blog that everything fell through, still no agent, blah, blah, blah...

* Then, when arguing with myself over all this, this quote popped in my e-mail: "To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself." - Soren Kierkegaard, 1813-1855

* And so I dare.

(BTW, all prayers, thoughts, candles, vigils, burnt offerings, etc. are welcome on Monday!)

* Photo from


Anonymous said...

Congratulations and I shall say a prayer for you. Good luck sweetie.

Jenny said...

That sounds like so much fun! Have a great time, and thanks for sharing :-)

Maddy said...

Hope you have an absolute blast! Whoo hoo for you, and that was a perfect quote to pull you through.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Prayers, thoughts, candles, igils, burnt offerings, etc. will be with you on Monday. And I'll cross my fingers too, just in case!

Anonymous said...

This is SO NOT anticlimactic, I am jumping up and down. Not only does it sound like a blast, but you took a risk and now have two agents to meet with.

I am so very happy for you! Will say lots of prayers for you. Don't worry about getting lost in NYC, I always ask strangers there. It is the best way to find your way around. What a FANTASTIC adventure.


marge said...

Awesome! Got to take a risk to get the big pay back. Have a wonderful adventure. If you have time sightsee and go see a show for me. Many, many prayers will be said on your behalf. You go girl!! Don't worry about finding your way around the subway is well marked. Even I did it. So Happy for you.

marge said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Deb said...

While you're there finding your way, feel the angel wings of our love and support gently surrounding you.

There is nothing to stop you. There will be nothing but success. You go!!!!!

holly said...

Anti-climatic, seriously? I'm so proud of you for going for it. Have an amazing adventure!

Kathryn said...

Wow, Carrie. This is all very serendipitous. I think you will be able to turn the scary energy into one of exhilaration. I think this is a very big deal, a giant leap. We want a full picture essay when you return! It excites the hell out of me. What a privilege to do this thing. :)

Anonymous said...

This is fricking fantastic!
I went to NYC three summers ago for a wedding of a writer friend i had never actually met in person. 3 years later we are still great friends AND i made some great new friends who also came for the wedding! Hell, I am going to CAli to be the 'MOH' for one. So, enjoy and don't forget to go see the Naked Cowboy in Time's Square and have some really good NYC 'pie.'

I have to sign this anonymous again as my google stuff is messed up


Suzy said...

WOW! Aren't you something!!!

Good for you!!!

What fantastic friends to have!!

Good luck with the agents, they will love you and your writing as much as everyone else does.

Let us know what happens.

There are 10,000 stories in the Naked City.....make sure you create one of them!



Anonymous said...

May you get that much closer to the fame you so desperately desire.

Anonymous said...

You are that much closer to being the healer of the universe. Can't wait!

Anonymous said...

We await your instruction Oh Wise One!

Anonymous said...

Hopefully NY gets how brilliant you are. God knows, we need to know what you know!

Anonymous said...

Next stop Oprah!

La La said...

You WILL be a HIT. They will BOTH LOVE YOU like all of us DO!

Go with grace and courage and gusto!

Go Mama said...

F'in great Carrie! Fantastic. The feeling of creating your own destiny, step by step, will be echoed even further as you walk the streets of NYC unencumbered. No husband, no kids, endless possibilities in a city pulsing with energy. What a feeling! An adventure!

As far as getting lost, you probably won't. The City is, for the most part, a grid and very easy to walk. (Streets run N to S, getting higher as you head N or uptown. Avenues run E to W, getting higher as you head W. There are certain areas, the Village, Soho, where the streets have their own logic.) Pick up a subway map and carry it in your purse to refer to.

Have a blast! Have many cocktails! Go girl!


Jess said...

Have a great time, Kim will help you out, and call me if you get lost. I have a good sense of direction and know NY pretty well.

You'll be fine though, I'm sure of it.

I'll be thinking about you.

Anonymous said...

Email me -- let's see if we can meet up!

meanie said...

good for you! and as wayne gretzky's dad once said - if you don't shoot the puck, you won't score the goal....

meanie said...

and i'm soooo jealous, new york is so much fun (especially with no kids :))

Terry Whitaker said...

I am so grateful the agents came to their senses.