Friday, November 09, 2007


I walk into the salon Wednesday and am instantly greeted by Doug, Sue and Cindy, three darlings of Darling's Hair Salon.

"Oh! Look at your cute outfiit!" they say. So kind of them to say so, considering I am in workout clothes, hair hidden beneath a hat.

"You do NOT want to see what is under this hat!" I warn as they giggle graciously.

Doug with his psychic ability only equal to his hairstyling ability, takes a closer look at me and says, "Uh oh, what's the matter with you?"

"Oh, Doug, everything. I'm not OK, I'm really sad and everything is falling apart."

"Well, let's see what's going on," he says, removing my baseball cap and nearly gasping with the fright underneath. "Good Lord! Something is giving you grey hairs! What's going on?"

"I can't really talk about it, Doug, and besides, I don't understand it well enough myself to be able to explain it to you."

"Honey! You don't have to. Let me get a vibe."

With one hand on the nape of my head where the new grey hairs have taken hold, he closes his eyes and proceeds to tell me everything that is going on. Everything.

Doug, with his perfectly starched, yellow, Ralph Lauren oxford shirt, sleeves rolled up with precision, his glasses that are that special kind of crystal that is supposed to impress me, but doesn't because I can't even remember the name of it, his own buzzed head, picture of his "husband" on his cell phone screen, he knows. He knows everything.

Is Doug psychic or am I finally transparent? I stated as a goal for my "Power Year" to be transparent - to hold no secrets, to be completely open and vulnerable, what you see is what you get, no hidden agendas, no ulterior motives, as ego-less as humanly possible for those of us un-enlightened beings.

I'm pretty sure it's the former, I'm not at the end of that lofty goal, but I am further along with it than I was when I began in February. I am much better at not spinning a story in my favor. I am better at owning my own responsibility in matters of the heart and soul. I am also much, much more of a crier than I was in February. When the mask began to drop, so did the tears.

I can't quite get it up to a really good boo-hoo, but there are tears. Tears are truths. We cry when we are on to something. I'm on to something. So is Doug. And besides, I have a cute new haircut.


Suzy said...

Shear knowledge on Doug's part if you ask me.(ouch)

The tears? Hate those fucking things. They seem to be everywhere these days.....

Let's see a photo of the new "do"!!!!!!!

Love you.


Anonymous said...

Your outfit is DARLING!
and so are YOU!
thanks for the Blog!
I enjoyed it--and YES I can see the truth!
love to you my friend!

Anonymous said...

Love your haircut!!!

Douglas Darling's last name is no accident ... and there are no accidents, as you always say ...

(thanks for sharing this with me!)

much love,


Suzy said...

Gorgeous haircut!

Gorgeous you!

riversgrace said...

Who's cute! Love it!

You're more beautiful as everything comes closer to the surface...

Thank god for good doos.

Michelle O'Neil said...

Love. Carrie

Jerri said...

LOVE the new do. LOVE it.

Cry all you need to, Carrie. Those of us who love you will continue to hold you in the Light as you go through this tunnel, whatever it may be.

La La said...

GREAT HAIR! You are darling!

I'm reading a book called TELLING SECRETS by Frederick Buechner. I'm working on telling all of my secrets if only to the page for now, and what has surprised me most is how many secrets I have that are SECRET even to me! They are coming up and out, though, and the tears help wash them away.

You go, girl. I so enjoy you. Glad we met. I love "hearing" your story here each day!


kario said...

I'm tellin' ya, saltwater is the cure for everything - the ocean, tears, let 'em fall!

Love that you've surrounded yourself with people who can read you. Love the new do. Love you.

Eileen said...

Love your new hair cut, you look beautiful!! Tears are healing, let them come. The problem is when they are there, but can't come out. I feel mine, right there on the brim, but can't get them to flow. I hate that!! I know if they came, I would feel so much better.
Love your psychic hairdreser Doug.
He is a keeper. What a gift.
You are surrounded by love Carrie, hope you feel it....XOXO

Sara said...

Remember before blog time, "Only your hair dresser knew for sure."

Is your goal to be totally transparent or would you settle for translucent?

What does Rojo think of the new due? Does the new do represent another new you?

Jenny said...

Love your haircut!

And I'm glad you're crying. I'm trying to laugh more.

Deb said...

When the mask begins to fall, so do the tears. One of the most profound things you've said and you say lots of profundities.

Love, love, love your hair! I wish I had a Darling doing mine.

Love you.

Terry Whitaker said...

OMG, I can't believe I missed this!