Friday, August 31, 2007


Everytime I tell someone I can't wait to celebrate rage and am paying huge amounts of money to do so, I get "the look," the one that says, "OK, fine, whatever."

See, that's the thing, things are not OK, they are not "fine" and just shrugging my shoulders is no longer acceptable. I don't want my life to be FINE and OK, I want it to be wild, impassioned, shining, full of dance and spirit, unhibited joy and a completely unapologetic commitment to the truth.

I completed an on-line questionnaire as part of my registration process. I was able to identify, on her website, my "Disquise for Rage," and was encouraged to read her book in preparation for the workshop. Check, check, check. I did my questionnaire within minutes of receiving it, never giving it another thought. I quickly identified my disquise, then began the book. I moved through the process like I do everything, swiftly, efficiently, promptly, without a whole lot of thought or analysis, "automatically," one might say. Head down, one foot in front of the other, don't look up until you get to the end. Don't fight it, don't question it, don't make a problem for anyone, just do it with a smile on your face and and move on.

While reading the book I had more time to sift through the thoughts, beliefs, misconceptions and myths I held about rage. Ruth says there are three ways to respond to rage, fight, flight or shrink. Under each way are two disguises of rage. I am a fun mix of the two flight types, Devotion and Distraction. That is to say when faced with rage I put all my efforts on others and keep myself too busy to think/care/deal with myself.

The fight types "get in the ring" with the rage. Their disguises of rage are Dominance and Defiance. Of course, most of us are attracted to our opposites, and tend to marry/partner them, which perpetuates our disguises, and keeps us from healing/transforming them.

The shrink types are Dependence and Depression. Those types just make me crazy, I've never understood how someone can respond by not doing anything, which I've come to learn is deciding by not deciding, and a skill that might serve me well, since half of all that I do needs to be done twice, because I'm so reactive and impulsive. Perhaps if I took what is "good" about depending on others and chilling out, I'd have a smoother path. We'll all find out! I'm about to become a new woman!

Ruth King called me on Wednesday. We had a pre-appointed 1 hour phone interview. Key-rist! This woman knows her stuff. Before Wednesday's call from Ruth King, I'd almost finished her book, Healing Rage. I'd settled into a deeper understanding of myself and other significant characters in my life and their rage responses/disguises. She asked me a bunch of questions she'd pulled from my questionnaire, then after feeling satisfied with her sense of me, she assigned me an Orisha spirit. Ruth uses Yoruba, an African religious system in her work, and Orishas are the spirits, much the same way the Catholics have saints, in fact, many of the Catholic saints line up perfectly with the Orisha spirits.

Ruth "gave" me Shango, whose name is spelled a variety of ways, which of course, is hard for me. I don't do well with loose things like that. I want to know how to spell his damn name RIGHT!

According to Cultural Expressions:

Sango is the God of Thunder

Sango is King.

Just as lightning flashes to show indistinguishable landscape, Sango has the ability to show one the truth just as quickly.

Sango only speaks once and represents trial by fire.

Sango is as big as his scream giving him an ability to move people and things with his words. Sango has the "gift of gab".

Sango is the God of Male Fertility.

Sango is the master of strategy and tactics.

The spirit of Sango rises to confront and meet great challenges.

Sango is the symbol of courage.

The Truth Can Hurt! Like Fire!


Saint Barbara

Yea, kinda like that. After deciding what I wanted to go TOWARDS, Ruth gives me this guy, who epitomizes it all, of course. There are no accidents. There are no coincidences, and there is no way anyone's going to throw cold water on my excitement for CELEBRATING RAGE! WOOHOO!


Kathryn Johansen said...

Oh, wow, please share full details when you return. This is VERY exciting. I send lots of positive energy your way...I did go to her site when you mentioned her before and watched the video. The mask ceremony is pretty heavy duty. I guess you will be making your mask, too? I love this. This reminds me of the days I spent with Michael Harner (The Way of the Shaman). Very transformitive. I know it will be great.

Michelle O'Neil said...

Wow Carrie. No cold water here.

You go!

Love the image of Sango.

I hear the thunder cracking!

Anonymous said...

I am very excited for you. I loved her book, just finished it. It is very powerful or empowering is a much better word. Can't wait to hear about it, you are in the perfect place to take this. Go Sango...........

fiN' said...

I cannot wait to Shango with you Sister! We are going to blow the roof off that damn retreat!!! Great story telling I don't have to write about it.

Jerri said...

Cool, Carrie.

Be sure and keep us posted. This is fascinating.

Kim said...

SHANGO ROCKS!! I can't wait to hear all about it!!

Terry Whitaker said...

WooHoo is Right!

Julie Christine said...

Yes,I fully understand your enthusiasm to celebrate rage. May this be a cathartic experience and open you up even wider than you are to keep pouring out your life story. Good luck, Carrie!

Deb said...

As with everyone else here, I can hardly wait to hear about your adventures with Ruth and Rage. And to hear how you're getting along with the new man in your life who can't quite decide how to spell his own name. Blessings to you.

Suzy said...

I think Ruth and Rage have no idea what they have in store for them with the famous Ms. Link.....