Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
- the one that knows every thought that runs through your head, and doesn't ever tell you to shut up, or that you are crazy
- the one that loves your kids as much as you do, and sometimes more
- the one that reminds you when you're about to make a dreadful mistake, that the last time you did that, you made them swear not to let you do it again
- the one that thinks you're hilarious, brilliant and fabulous, always, they are never critical (a.k.a. realistic)
- the one that you run all your ideas by before implementing them
- the one that has your best interest at heart, always, there is nothing in it for them
- the one that thinks you're right in every argument with the real spouse
- the one that loves your real spouse anyway, and always remembers their good points, even when you have totally forgotten them
- the one with whom you'll never raise children, pay the bills or live with day after day, year after year, thus, never threatening their preferred spouse position
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Ten years ago next month, my father, Don Wilson, officially died. I believe it was suicide, but the doctors called it emphysema. He smoked and drank himself to death, but instead of dying in one fell swoop, it took him over 30 years. You might even call it a murder/suicide, in that he sucked the life out of many during his long and awful decline.
When a cat showed up on our porch and showed no signs of leaving, I joked that she, Sweetpea, was Don Wilson reincarnated. After the joke died, the utter belief set in. I never heard Rojo once call the cat Don Wilson, or Granddad. He never acknowledged that I believed the cat was more than a cat.
On Friday Sweetpea was hit by a car. My daughter and I both felt like my dad had died all over again. "It's like losing a grandparent!" she wailed through her tears. I told Rojo that Sweetpea had died, and he said, "I don't care."
The next day, thinking surely he didn't fathom the reality, I told him again that Sweetpea had died. Again he said, "I don't care."
Today, five days later, he asked my dear friend, Kathleen, that works with him once a week, "Who will be the next Don Wilson?" Oh my God! He did "get it", and he even gets reincarnation, apparently. Then he turned to Kathleen and said, "You will be the next Don Wilson." Who am I to tell him he's wrong? I just know that if he's right, I couldn't have made a better selection myself.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
- How many kids said to their moms today, "When is kids' day?"
- How many mothers answered, "Every day is kids' day."
- Why does it seem that women with great childhoods often have trouble becoming pregnant, and women with ugly pasts often get pregnant easily? What does that mean?
- How many "active" mothers spent today preparing a lovely day for "retired" mothers?
- How many mothers would love nothing more than to spend the day without children?
- How many mothers picked out their own gifts and/or paid for them?
- How many people find this day painful, sad and/or poignant?
Saturday, May 13, 2006
ODE TO SWEETPEA
Our porch was the place
All thought she must live,
Not with the neigbors
Where technically she did.
She spent all her days
And many an eve,
Right out our door
With seldom reprieve.
She had there a bed
Two bowls and attention,
She was petted and loved
from every direction.
Just down is the school
She timed her days well,
The comings and goings
Of each school bell.
The kids, parents and siblings
All stopped for a chat,
She sprawled on the sidewalk
Like she was their cat.
The whole street felt affinity
As she lay on their lawns,
They all knew her name
And now she is gone.
Right on the street
That felt sunny and warm,
She'd lie in the middle
Expecting no harm.
She behaved like she owned it
We knew to be watchful,
The street was hers
And now we all feel awful.
A newcomer thought
It was just any street
They didn't know it was special
And now we all weep.
Friday, May 12, 2006
LOOK IT UP
- ABSTINANCE: 1) The most assured way of not becoming parents again. 2) A phase that may repeat itself with some regularity, and is not to be discussed, nor used against, either party.
- BRIBERY: A perfectly legitimate method of parenting a child with special needs.
- CONCENTRATE: Something you used to be able to do, prior to having children.
- DEVIL: The one with whom you repeatedly offer deals.
- EXERCISE: see "concentrate"
- FUN: see "exercise"
- GOD: The word proceeding "dammit".
- HUMOR: The only thing that will pull you out, and keep you out, of the pits of despair.
- IRRECONCILABLE: What 70% of all marital issues are, so get over it.
- JEALOUSY: A perfectly understandable emotion evoked by seeing happy families enjoying an activity together.
- KINKY: What your garden hose is, and you are not, as your garden hose has more energy in reserve for that kind of thing, than do you.
- LUSH: What everyone who drinks daily is, except for you.
- MURDER: What you're nearly driven to, day after day, week after week, year after year.
- NEIGHBORS: The people that live right next door and have perfect children that aren't allowed to play with your children.
- OBSCENE: What are likely to be your special child's first words.
- POOP: That with which your life and spousal conversations revolve.
- QUIET: That for which you'd kill to have.
- RULES: Those things that other families have that don't apply to your kids.
- SCAPEGOAT: The reason you stay married. This way nothing is ever your fault.
- TIRED: No longer something you feel only first thing in the morning, but your standard operating condition.
- UTILITARIAN: The word used to describe your wardrobe, car and home decor.
- VIGILANTE: A mean word some school personnel use to describe you.
- WACKED: see "vigilante"
- X-BOX: What you'd happily run right out and buy for your child, if only said child would poop in the damn toilet.
- YAWN: Your primary form of exercise.
- Z's: What you used to get before you became the parent of a child with special needs.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Are You a Parent of a Child With Special Needs?
T or F:
485 Tootsie Rolls (Midgies, not regular-sized, that would be ridiculous) is not too many for a child to safely consume in a 4-day period.
T or F:
You can buy really big Pull-Ups, and Target will cut you the best deal.
T or F:
Going out to eat with the whole family is just a really nice way to relax and and have fun.
T or F:
You are on a first name basis with your local pharmacist, and have his/her home number posted by your phone.
T or F:
Meeting a yearly $1,000 individual health insurance deductible for your child, is entirely possible in a 30-day period.
T or F:
Some videos/DVDs just get better and better after the 100th viewing.
T or F:
It is impossible to discuss your child using any fewer than three acronyms.
T or F :
Everyone you knew before you were a parent, and everyone you have met since, falls into one of two categories, those who "get it", and those who don't.
T or F:
Tags inside of clothing are highly irritating, and must be removed and then mutilated, leaving itsy bitsy pieces of tag forming a trail from the kitchen scissors to the child.
T or F:
Your children have all kinds of fun, rewarding extra-curricular activities, in which they excel in all.
T or F:
You wouldn't change places with anyone, well... maybe not anyone.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Spent the day yesterday consuming coffee and cake
You'd think that by now I'd learn a thing or two
What things are the don'ts and what things are the dos
Problem is now the "problem" is working
Though at times it can be a trite irking
Now soon I'll be "up up" and faced once again
The dilema of what are my food foes and friends
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
10. You never heard of Poole Crane and Schmidt
9. You don't care who Dr. McDreamy ends up with
8. You don't know that Tom and Lynette are working together now
7. You can't answer the question, "What about Brian?"
6. You have not ordered Season I of "Grey's Anatomy" on Amazon.com because you were late getting into that show, and now you're just sick about it
5. You are not making good use of the recordable technology available
4. You don't have an opinion on whether Julie is too homely to be the child of Susan and Carl
3. You aren't hoping the dog keeps getting sick, just so you can see more of that cute vet
2. You didn't know Candace Bergman got bangs and that Julie Bowen grew her hair
AND THE #1 SIGN YOU'RE NOT WATCHING ENOUGH TV...
1. You don't laugh every time you hear, "Denny Crane"