Monday, May 29, 2006

PURGING
Got anyone in your life that likes to spew their yuck all over you? Know anyone that only relieves their own angst by vomiting it on to someone else? Me too. Problem is, this "someone" is my mother. One hundred percent of all interactions with her include a spew. She is upset with someone, usually a relative, and I need to know about this. She has been victimized, and I need to know about this. Something is wrong with her home/car/yard, and I need to know about this. Not only do I need to know about this, I need to fix it, ASAP. She then skips on to the weather, and before I can tell her one single thing about me, she is all done. Her attention span has been spent talking, there is nothing left for listening.
"You never have time to come by and just visit," she decries, "You are always in a hurry to get somewhere else!"
"Bingo," I think to myself, but do not bother to speak.
Today the phone rang, I had the hairdryer on and didn't hear it. When I saw that she had called, I immediately returned the phone call.
"Sorry, Mom, I had the hairdryer on and didn't hear the phone."
"Oh," she says, dejectedly. She has been victimized again, by a hairdryer.
"Are you going to call your brother?" she asks?
"No, why would I?" I reply, snottily, easily reverting to teenage behavior.
She then proceeds to tell me all the reasons why I should call, and like a glutton for punishment, I continue to offer solid reasons why I won't be calling.
Finally I say, "Is there any other reason you called Mom? Anything else I've failed to do that you need to tell me about?"
"No, that's it," she says, hurt.
I am glad she is hurt. The hurt is ineffective, though, this I know. Tomorrow we will have this same conversation, disguised as a new one.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Families, sometimes you really have to wonder just what the "link" is.

kario said...

It is so hard to break those dynamics and it takes so much energy! It makes those people who give you energy and support you so much more precious!

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