Friday, February 06, 2009


Before I left on my trip, I spent an inordinate amount of time rehearsing a conversation I was just sure was going to take place. Felt it was inevitable. Felt it was critical. Felt it was a landmine.

Talked to trusted friends, got opinions, coaching, tips, had everyone and their dog weigh in on how I was going to navigate through this fated exchange of difficult words.

Spent 13 hours, over the course of two days, talking to a person I’d never in my life met before, but somehow thought I had all figured out, and not once did we even get near “the” topic.

Not once.

I spent over two months of my life practicing for something that never happened.

Didn’t need to happen.

Doesn’t matter.

She didn’t care.

Now maybe I can finally stop caring, too.


Wanda said...

Ahhh. That's a relief. I have no frigging idea what you're talking about, but feel better. I feel better. I am sure you will stop caring one day.

Anonymous said...

You are remarkable. Just f'ing remarkable.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Just because the exchange didn't take place doesn't mean your internal conversation wasn't needed. :)

Anonymous said...

Who the fuck is anonymous?

Anonymous said...

Borrowing trouble, I call it. I do it a lot, am trying to quit, more addictive than crack.

Deb Shucka said...

This sounds like another lesson in the school of trying to anticipate things it turns out no one is that concerned about in the first place. You were prepared to stand up for something important to you - that has to matter, regardless of the outcome.

kario said...

Hope so. You are terrific and perhaps the fact that this person didn't ask the question is just the sign you needed to make sure she's the one.

Hope so.


Jenny said...

You crack me up. The things we put ourselves through.

Jess said...

Well, I'm glad to hear that. And I think I know what you're talking about, but I'm not sure. :)

She said...

You're too funny. I think I actually need to do this more. I too often end up blindsided because I didn't see it coming. And then it's too damn late