BEST CLARIFIER I'VE EVER HEARD"Compassion can be roughly defined in terms of a state of mind that is nonviolent and nonharming, or nonaggressive. Because of this there is a danger of confusing compassion with attachment and intimacy." The Dalai Lama
12 comments:
I read this several times -- it is still not clear. You will have to post more.
Robin,
Well, I ain't no Dalai Lama, but what it says to me is that we can be compassionate, without being "hooked." Neutrality is compassionate - compassion doesn't have to involve direct action/reaction/involvement/etc. That what I take from this, anyway.
Compassion = a restatement of the Golden Rule to me. :)
Ok, so we can be compassionate AND intimate, but we don't have to really know people to be compassionate. (??) I think I may disagree (disagree with the Dalai Lama, that can't be right.)
Robin,
It's okay to disagree - just remain compassionate while doing so!
I looked at this from the receiving end. In other words, when therapists and attorneys are compassionate, some clients can mistake that for intimacy and attachment. Just because someone is compassionate toward us, it doesn't mean that it is an intimate relationship...or a come on.
Just another perspective.
I can have compassion for someone I never met...there is no action I can take but to hope my compassion is somehow an energy that reaches them ...?!
Carrie, you do have a gift for getting conversations started! HH's words reminded me of something from Pema Chodron about not being controlled by false compassion - which is giving yourself away without boundaries in the name of compassion.
I think we can be compassionate and intimate with others without being hooked. And I believe it starts with being compassionate and intimate with ourselves. We can't share what we don't truly hold in the first place.
Thanks for the provoking words and for the lovely picture of HH laughing. His face goes straight to my heart every time.
Carrie, don't worry I would not pick a fight with the Dalai Lama.
I think I get it now, you can't use the excuse - I don't even know them - as an excuse not to feel compassion. Okay. I am assuming that it is true though that compassion and intimacy can go hand in hand. How's that sound?
Funny how something that started off being a clarifier to me, has me more confused now! What's helpful to me, is defining what compassion is NOT, because I get into all kinds of trouble when I think what I'm doing is being compassionate, but instead what I'm doing is being co-dependent, or any number of other undesirable things.
Sorry Carrie, I did not mean to cause any anguish. Now that I know what position you were reading it from it does make sense.
It is funny how one statement can mean such different things to each person depending on their background and perspective.
Zero anguish, only appreciation for a well-begun HDR!
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