Monday, August 18, 2008



HOUSE RULES

Rojo swears. He swears, a LOT, by choice. He deliberately peppers his language with many "damns" "hells" and his favorite, "jack ass." We let him. Around our house the only rules with swearing are: It has to be funny (not mean) and you have to know your audience (no swearing in front of the grandparents).

He follows both rules to perfection, having us doubled over several times a day as he lets 'em fly.

Typical morning:
STM: "Rojo! Come sit down for toast!"

ROJO: "The hell I will! If you would not tell me 'time for toast,' I would not kick your ass!"

Typical afternoon:
ROJO: "Mom! Oh my hell of God! You need to watch me play my basketball game! What the hell are you thinking not watching me play my damn basketball game?"

Typical Beer O'Clock:
ROJO: "Okay, everyone, listen for George, Elaine, Kramer and Jerry to say bad words! Make sure you tell me when George says, 'Jack ass!' Make sure you tell me when you hear Jerry say, 'What the hell?' Make sure you don't forget to tell me when you hear the swearing!"

I'm still not sure what he meant when he told Waking Up in Portland that, "If she was me, I'd be going to hell," but I know for a fact it was funny, and not threatening, and he knew his audience. So proud of my boy.


* Photo from flickr.com

16 comments:

Mom to the Girls said...

LMAO! This rocks! I so wanna meet RoJo! Maybe he could guest blog? LOL

drama mama said...

Oh my God of Hell!

He kills me.

I want him in my brain. All the time.

Deb said...

He's never boring, is he? Made me smile this morning. THank you.

Lola said...

Damn that is funny! What the hell? I love basketball too Rojo!
Lola

Maddy said...

I could do with one of those signs myself! However, most of our swearing comes from 'Spongebob' for the time being.
Cheers

Deb said...

I love me a man who can use language well - and your son is definitely his mother's boy. Thanks for the laugh to start my day!

Does he ever swear at school?

Jerri said...

The hell you say.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Yes I enjoy a good effing swear myself from time to time!

Anonymous said...

Goddamnit, he is funny. He is indeed best seller material.

Terry Whitaker said...

I CANT WAIT for Blue Twos--it will be filled with effing fun of this most perfect kind.

MOM-NOS said...

"Oh my hell of God" is officially my new curse word of choice.

Michelle O'Neil said...

LOVE THIS!

Rojo is the fecking man!

La La said...

Well that just made my day!

I can't wait to meet that boy in person! Someday soon, I hope!

Tell him I love to swear too!

Nancy said...

Too, too funny! Love starting my day with a laugh. Working on the "know your audience" stuff with my teenagers who think the "F" bomb is all good, all the time. Meanwhile, my 9 year old daughter put in a formal request for permission to say "suck" and "crap" since the entire rest of the 4th grade was allowed to say those words.

Jerri said...

Katie arrived last night. This morning I forgot her car was in the driveway. Backed right into it.

Even in the middle of that very rotten moment, had to laugh.

What jumped out of my mouth?

Yep. "Oh my hell of God."

kario said...

Love this. Love you.

When I was a teenager, I convinced my mom that it was okay to swear so long as I didn't direct those words at anyone (example: "my ass!" versus "you are an a**hole")

Love the rules and I love how Rojo exploits them.