ONE MORE REASON WHY MEN COULD NEVER STAND BEING A WOMANCouple of weeks ago I had a busy morning getting ready for a day of appointments and "must dos," but I had something really important to tell Suzy, so I called her in the midst of all the chaos.
"Okay, well, I gotta go," I said hurriedly, one hand already on the hairdryer ready to push "on" as soon as I clicked the phone "off," "I have to go to the dentist and have him drill into my skull, then I'm going straight to get my mammogram."
"Just don't mix up the two and flash the dentist!" Suzy quipped, and I laughed so hard I spit my coffee that I was also juggling, in my already full hands.
Got to the dentist and couldn't resist telling him what Suzy said, "Just don't mix up the two and flash the dentist!" I said, and the shade of red he turned was worth the whole experience of said skull drilling.
Had the mammogram and ended up having an HDR with the technician, as she was very interested in hearing about my round-the-clock hot flashes, and what I planned to do about them, and I was very interested in telling her about them, and asking her what I should do about them.
"I know if I went to my doctor he'd give me HRT, and they'd go away, and I would feel much better, but two women on my maternal side had estrogen receptive breast cancer, so I don't want to do that," I said, one breast smashed beyond belief in the new digital machine, the other one hanging somewhere around waist-length inside the gown.
"You're right," she said, fully dressed, and I couldn't help but think the whole scene was hilarious. "I have the same doctor, and I love him, but that is what he'll do, and you don't want the hormone replacements, you're right about that, too, but what are you going to do?"
I told her about my plans to meet with a naturopathic doctor, my already scheduled, six week out appointment, and my resolve to do anything she suggests, in an effort to solve this pesky issue in a non-hormone, holistic way.
As we continued on with the other breast, we discussed the likelihood that the naturopath would suggest dietary changes, and the likelihood that I would hate that.
None-the-less, until my appointment in a month I am psyching up for whatever changes she suggests, and preparing to make whatever adjustments necessary. Pretty. Much. I am willing to go from "fully" caffeinated to "very little" caffeinated, but I'm not sure I'm willing to go to "completely un-caffeinated." We'll see. If these 20+ hot flashes a day don't get reduced, significantly, I may have to reconsider. I'll cross that ironic bridge when I come to it.
In the mean time, I received a disk of my digital breast images in the mail Saturday, and if you all don't watch out, I'm going to post them. Oh, wait, that's the hormonal imbalance talking...
20 comments:
Your poor dentist. That's the kind of talk that would have HT squirming and stammering.
Good luck with the naturopath! Think of what you are going toward, not what you are leaving behind. Besides, she might not be down on coffee at all!
Carrie, with the estrogen-receptive history, can you also not take the bio-identical hormones? I want to know because I was about to do a saliva test ($300 bucks), then the homeopath where I am said there was one I could do for $20, identical test. This is very confusing!
I don't know about caffeine and hot flashes, but I do know the caffeine can create cysts in some women.
Kathi,
I plan to fully explore the option of bio-identical hormones - just got a book about it, in fact, and am going to get all my ducks in a row before I bombard that poor naturopath! Stay tuned!
POST THOSE PUPPIES!!!!!
Love Suzy. Wicked humor, that girl! I agree, post the puppies...we're all friends here!
I just did the saliva test/hormone/adrenal panel cost me $79 through Diagnos-Tech in WA. Then take your results to your naturopath. Bio-identical hormones are the way to go. There are also good herbs that support the process. Christiane Northrup is a great resource for all things meno:
http://www.drnorthrup.com/bookstore/northrup_products.php?product_id=198
and yeah, you'll most likely be asked to go off caffeine, alcohol, refined sugar...you know, all the goodies. As one who just went off caffeine cold turkey for my adrenals, I strongly recommend yerba mate. Not nearly the same experience, but a lifesaver. Really.
Good luck!!
Isn't it so weird that that was the first thing I asked you when I saw you in NYC? "Hi, so good to see you--btw, are you experiencing any hot flashes?"
Coming out of regular lurking mode to comment. Vitamin E and Vitamin C ... in mega doses ... will get rid of your hot flashes, or at least significantly reduce them. I don't have the right dosage for you (but I can get it) off the top of my head. We have breast cancer history in my family, so when my aunt was in her mid 40s, she used the Vitamin C and E combo to control the hot flashes, with great success. Vitamin E is a fat soluble vitamin so you need to take it with fat (like peanut butter) for the body to absorb it.
I can get the dosage my aunt used for you if you'd like. I suspect if you Google it you might find it as well.
Good luck!
Good grief, you have no idea what you are doing! Some creepy type will pick up on the 'image' word and the 'b' word and before you know it there'll be all these sneaky types lurking around your site......or maybe not! Hope I'm not feeding the paranoia.....or is that me?
Cheers
Good Fountain: Thanks for the info., I'm on it!
Go Mama: Thanks for your info., too! Just picked up three good books: Christiane Northrup's book, The Wisdom of Menopause, Suzanne Somers' book (don't laugh, I hear it's good), Ageless: The Naked Truth About Bioidentical Hormones, and Tori Hudson's book, Women's Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine.
My older female cat went through "mini-paws".
How fuckin' funny am I?????
Oh, God, I love Suzy! I nearly peed my pants reading her comment! When can I come hang out with the two of you?
No more 5 shot americanos?
Ulp.
Yes, but how many women know the full impact of slipping off a bike that's too tall for you and landing on the cross bar?
Now that I think about it, why on earth did "boys' bikes" have that strategically placed bar and "girls' bikes" lack them?
Shouldn't it have been the reverse??
And why does "the pain of child birth" gets all the press? What about the pain of slipping on a hallway floor just as the door in front of you is left swinging open and landing on your back and sliding into it with one leg on each side of the door and getting knocked out cold?
(This wasn't me - phew... but happened to someone I knew.)
Maybe the ultimate reason men have historically excelled at sports is the added danger to us of slip-ups. The law of the jungle for us was "Don't miss that next branch or you could pay big time..."
I know, I know, my erudition here must be impressive... but no, I'm not really an archaelogist or anthropologist...
Carrie, I have to second the Vitamin E option, it has really worked for me. Thankfully I have not had to give up caffeine.
Yeah, in my experience a naturopath will tell you to cut out all caffeine and sugar. Yikes. I haven't been able to follow through with that advice myself, but I don't have any pressing issues yet (except, ya know, my general health....).
Like I have said before... Try the mate... We need a tea date anyway.
DE-caff???? Tell me that's not necessary!
There's a book by Christiane Northrup about menopause. It has a lot of good ideas in it. Would have loved to have seen the dentists face.
Don't you just love that women can have a full conversation all the while having a breast squished and pictures taken... Imagine this with a dude and his knackers! LOL... not quite the same picture is it...
This too shall pass. And think of the material it's providing for your next book! :)
Have you seen Menopause the Musical yet? Or read Meno-paws, a funny-serious book told from a cat's perspective.
Keep laughing. It helps.
Suzy rocks! I'm thinking it was absolutely worth it for you to take the time out of your rushing to call her.
Good luck with the hot flashes. They suck!
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