Carrie Link

MERCY HIGH, MERCY LOW

This beautiful song runs in a continuous loop through my brain. I had the tremendous honor to hear Kate Power sing it live. I'll never forget the power of that woman's voice, so aptly named is she. This song was written for her daughter, Cathy, whom she gave up for adoption at age 18. At age 18 Cathy found Kate, and they have now been back in each others' lives as long as they were not. Mothers and daughters, daughters and mothers, tears fill my eyes just writing those words.

As I have the opportunity to really dive into the research and writing of my memoir, I see a theme emerging. A theme I didn't want to see. I thought my book would be about my evolution raising a son with special needs. The evolution of a marriage forced to be made or broken. While that is quite a story, there is a second story lying just below the surface. The business of my son's needs have made it possible, and defendable, that my daughter's needs have been made secondary. From the moment I became pregnant with HIM, my focus left HER.

The theme of "the other one" rattles around in me. I love the old expression, "Therapy is where you finally figure out it's not the parent you thought it was that you struggle with, it's the other one." So true of raising a child with special needs, too, you are FORCED to put their needs top of your list, the other child, being "typical", must assume a distant second place.

Guilt is not helpful. Mercy is. Mercy for the place she holds in the family, and the places she does not. Mercy for her brother, for truly, there but for the grace of God go she. Mercy for her mother for doing the best she could/can. Mercy for the daughter that wants more, deserves more, needs more, but there isn't "more". Mercy for herself, and myself, for knowing what we know and struggling none-the-less. Mercy. Mercy high, mercy low. Mercy me.

MERCY HIGH, MERCY LOW

I can't love you more than I do
True loving's hard to explain
You've seen me through
You see through me
You see the things that I do

Mercy high, mercy low; no goodbye, just hello
Come right here, don't you go away.
Here under sky on stepping ground
Take my hand, turn around
We'll waltz up sweet memories.

I do love you more than old shoes
More than the sun on the rain
There's nobody's got somebody
The way I got you on the brain

Mercy high, mercy low; no goodbye, just hello
Come right here, don't you go away.
Here under sky on stepping ground
Take my hand, turn around
We'll waltz up sweet memoires

Hold me, let's dance together
One, two, three;
Steps break like sudden feathers
And hearts break free.

I was so wrong, you were so gone
I never got over your name
Just to lose you forever, now we're dancing together again
Come right here; don't you go away.
Here under sky on stepping ground
Take my hand, turn around
We'll waltz up sweet memoires.

Hold me, let's dance together
You lead me.
Waves break in turning weather
And hearts break free