Saturday, June 23, 2007


"People who fight with other human beings out of anger, hatred, and strong emotion, even if they gain victory over their enemies in batle, are not in reality true heroes. What they are doing is slaying corpses, because human beings, being transient, will die. Whether or not these enemies die in the battle is another question, but they will die at some point. So, in reality they are slaying those already destined to die. The true hero is the one who gains victory over hatred and anger." H.H. the Dalai Lama

Gotta love ol' HH, he just f'ing NAILS it, doesn't he? This especially rings true for me as I am deep in the process of process. I am writing my memoir and anger is springing up at every turn. "Let it spring up," I tell myself, "then gain victory OVER it!" I finally "get" that by gaining victory over anger I taking back the power that those that have angered me still hold over me. It's the ultimate revenge, just like they say, living a happy life.

More than anyone else, I am discovering anger at myself. No more useful than anger directed to another, or others. Again, I am letting it spring up, "making room for it," then gaining victory over it. That's the plan, anyway.

9 comments:

Eileen said...

Carrie,
You can gain victory over your anger, not something that is enjoyable, but soon the negative energy of anger really becomes the positive energey of understanding and compassion. Author Thich Nhat Hanah talks a lot about turning garbage (anger) into beautiful flowers.
This is obviously an issue near and not so dear to my heart, but one I have been trying so hard to understand for a while now.
Please don't be too hard on yourself while your writing this part of your memoir!! That is the selfish me talking, because you are such kind, and beautiful person, inside and out! XOXO

Jess said...

Yep, well said, huh? Its a tough one, but funny to read this today. I just had breakfast with someone I have had quite a bit of anger at, and was able to choose to have a nice breakfast, enjoy the time, not go there. Just see that there are ways we can not see/hold/understand each other, and let the anger about it/at her go.

Love.

kario said...

You go, girl! Love that you recall the lessons and apply them to yourself so readily.

Love you.

Kim said...

Carrie, you are such an inspiration--always seeking, always striving, always learning! H.H. really does nail it. And as hard as the process is, what could be better than robbing anger (no matter how rightfully felt) of all of its power, and stopping it dead in its tracks?

I just try to think of all the glorious possibilities this opens us up to, without all that anger blocking out view.

Triumphant post!

Deb said...

Thank you for sharing your process, Carrie. It's helpful to hear from someone else that this writing we do unearths feelings that we'd forgotten we buried. I also appreciate the reminder that it always starts with how we feel about ourselves, how we see ourselves, how we relate to ourselves.

Much love to you.

jennifer said...

Where on the body is this anger? What is the scene, the smell in the air, the details of the environment???

Grumpy Bear said...

All I'm saying...but still, I can't help being crabby...the other bears, they try to cheer me up but I'm like..."get the hell away from me, I'm pissed!!!" I think this is really bad for my karma, I'm going to hook up with H.H. Bear and figure this out!

Michelle O'Neil said...

I don't believe anger is something to wrestle to the ground and "beat."

It is an indicator. It shows me that something needs my attention.

Ask the demon what it wants and hand it over.

: )

Love Jennifer's comment. Always the teacher!

Sue said...

Thought you might need this from H.H.:

"We should begin by removing the greatest hindrances to compassion: anger and hatred. As we all know, these are extremely powerful emotions and they can overwhelm our entire mind. Nevertheless, they can be controlled. If, however, they are not, these negative emotions will plague us - with no extra effort on their part! - and impede our quest for the happiness of a loving mind."

"So as a start, it is useful to investigate whether or not anger is of value. Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring with it more energy, confidence and determination."

"Here, though, we must examine our mental state carefully. While it is true that anger brings extra energy, if we explore the nature of this energy, we discover that it is blind: we cannot be sure whether its result will be positive or negative. This is because anger eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. Moreover, if anger increases to the extreme, one becomes like a mad person, acting in ways that are as damaging to oneself as they are to others."

-- His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama