Tuesday, June 26, 2007

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

I spend my days writing, high in the desert of Central Oregon, surrounded by intense and active beauty. Birds of every family snack at my feeder. We've got quail, finches, blue birds, robins, hummingbirds, you name it. There are squirrels, long grey-tailed squirrels, much different looking than the ones in the valley that are brown with shorter tails. My friend, Terry, says squirrels are just rats with better outfits. I giggle each time I see the well-dressed rats run up the trees all around me.

There is a deer that comes to graze both morning and night. Right up to my kitchen window she comes, close enough to pet her, if I tried. I don't try. I am not inclined to break the agreement between us, "You don't bother me, I won't bother you." We've got a deal, and it works. This morning when I awoke she was right outside the bedroom window, resting in the early morning sun. She rests just a few feet from the yard's newest addition, the reclining Buddha. Apparently she saw he had the right idea, "Take a load off. Relax. You've got nothing but time," and she heeded his call to rest.

I resist his heed. "Relax." Why is that such an infuriating concept for me? What button is pushed deep within me that recoils at those five little letters either written or spoken? I know the answer. I find the button. Now it is my job to tease that button out until it no longer remains a button. New information and wisdom must replace well-worn tapes that still run, reel-to-reel in my stubborn mind.

The trees, mostly pine, grow in clusters. They grow tall and their trunks bend and blend together. As you look up to see where they end, over 100 feet above, you see the method to their madness. They are supporting one another up there, where the altitude gets a little too high and one might find oneself feeling faint. They've got each others' barks.

The deer, the well-dressed rats, the birds and trees all have much to tell me. I quiet myself and try to listen. I may even try to relax. There is a wind blowing through the curtains, perhaps I'll throw all caution to it.

14 comments:

Michelle O'Neil said...

So beautiful Carrie. Exquisite writing. And funny too, of course.

I'll always have your bark.

Sue said...

Wondering if the buddhist deer has been sent to enlighten you, as if in a dream. A beautiful, graceful creature who is telling you to be happy, to slow down, to enjoy this peaceful place, where wisdom will come to you on its own schedule, quieting your busy mind.

I think I love this more than anything I have read of your writing.

holly said...

"The trees, mostly pine, grow in clusters. They grow tall and their trunks bend and blend together. As you look up to see where they end, over 100 feet above, you see the method to their madness. They are supporting one another up there, where the altitude gets a little too high and one might find oneself feeling faint. They've got each others' barks." -- Gorgeous!

jennifer said...

Nature is the best way to right the mind...this is Hindu insight...and you are "righting" your mind. Wonderful detail and great use of nature!!! Take an A.

kario said...

"I am not inclined to break the agreement..." - awesome! I think Central Oregon agrees with you, my dear. This is beautiful, from-the-heart writing and you at your best. All my love and thoughts to help you find that button and learn to relax. I can say from experience that it's one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, but also so incredibly worth it!

Jerri said...

They've got each others' barks.

Brilliant. LOVE this piece. Carrie-ness distilled.

grammer said...

"bend and blend." There's some lovely poetry.
"one might find oneself feeling faint." There's some wry humor.

And we got miles o' nature all over this darned post. Beautifully done. I see your mornings.

"I quiet myself and try to listen." You could tell us how you do that, yes? Do you put the coffee cup down, fold your hands, stare at the sky? Put your feet up, put your feet down ... you know, body stuff, just a little bit, right there.

I'm with everyone else here who sees nature as a great teacher. What a joy it is to find that we ARE the deer, the birds, the well-dressed rat and the trees that bend... So much to learn! xo t

Nancy said...

so rich with gentleness... relaxed me to read it. Relaxing agrees with you perhaps; it flows onto the page.

Terry Whitaker said...

This is some of your best writing to date. It's beautiful, but still has lots of you in it. I don't ever want it to get so beautiful that I can't find you. I love the balance of both in this peice--oops, piece.

Eileen said...

I love this Carrie,so funny, sweet and peaceful. Total grace!

Deb said...

There's nothing I don't love about this writing. Throwing your caution at the wind blowing through those windows - lovely and funny at once. Love your honesty with the struggle. Love the peace and quiet that blanket all of this. Love you.

Anonymous said...

must admit i agree with the "Ditto Heads"

riversgrace said...

I love where the writing is coming from. This seems like the source of relaxation. It's happening....and your noticing is beautiful.

Kim said...

Oh, this is gorgeous! So vivid, so lovely, so honest. How did I miss this one?? Fantastic!