Carrie Link

FALLING AWAKE

I am flying high from a weekend away with significant others. My husband and I were able to retreat to Central Oregon together to celebrate his birthday (48), our marriage, burn the past and embrace our future. We were double blessed to have our favorite couple friends there, too. The number of "happily marrieds"' we know is few. Dismally few, but understandably few. Marriage is hard. Brutally hard. Ridiculously hard. Temptingly quit-able.

Eckhart Tolle, Power of Now says, "Never have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may have noticed, they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world." I e-mailed that quote to my husband recently, he replied simply, "choir".

I'm going to be turning over the rich mulch from this weekend for awhile, but for now, a quickie Top 10...

TOP 10 THINGS I LEARNED AT "FALLING AWAKE":

10. What do I want? Figure that out.
9. Disconnect "wants" from "expectations"
8. Practice without reproach
7. The past holds guilt, the future, anxiety, the present is all we have
6. Being happy and having what you want is not sinful, it's your duty/obligation to pursue with abandon
5. The things I love about myself, are the things that my husband loves about me, and vice-versa
4. What we love about each other has nothing to do with how we look or what we own, or have "accomplished"
3. Wouldn't trade my life with anyone's
2. We're all connected, with far more in common than not
1. It all boils down to love.