Carrie Link

TOP 10 THINGS LIKELY TO BE SAID BY
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW ON THANKSGIVING

10. The newspaper today was as thick as the Sunday paper, with all those ads.
9. I think while all of those people are out shopping tomorrow, I'l just enjoy staying home.
8. That button on the turkey already popped, and it can't possibly be done!
7. My mother used to serve creamed onions every year, and she was the only one that ate them.
6. I hope you all brought your Tupperware, there are going to be lots of leftovers!
5. The stores are all decorated for Christmas already.
4. That's enought salt, Papa!
3. This time we're having real butter!
2. I'm so full I couldn't eat another bite.
1. Who's ready for pie?

TOP 10 THINGS LIKELY TO BE SAID
BY MY MOTHER ON THANKSGIVING

10. I am not at all happy that that democrat got re-elected as our governor.
9. What is going on with all these meth labes? Do you realize the long-term implications of this epidemic?
8. There is a real spiritual deficit in this country. Did you know that Macy's won't even let their employees say, "Merry
Christmas" now? They have to say, "Happy Holidays."
7. Everywhere I go there are these gambing places disguised as coffee shops. I thought we were keeping all this
gambling withing the Indian reservations to create jobs and help these poor people make something of their lives!
6. I am calling the cable company on Monday and cancelling my subscription. Have you seen the rates? They just keep
going up, while the quality of porgrammiing just keeps going down.
5. Who wants to call ________________ and wish them a happy Thanksgiving? I'm sure they are lonely and thinking of all of
us while they are in rehab.
4. I can never eat enough to make it worth all the trouble of cooking a big Thanksgiving meal. Even if I could, who can
enjoy eating knowthing that one third of the world goes to bed hungry every night!
3. Oh no, no salt for me! You know I have terrible blood pressure! I never salt anything, haven't for years! Of course,
I do love my chips!
2. I'm so full I can't eat another bite.
1. Pie? I'm ready for pie! Just a sliver though!