Tuesday, November 28, 2006


I've had a recurring nightmare my whole life... I re-discover a room in my house, or a closet or attic, that I'd totally forgotten about. Inside that space are kittens, nearly dead, I'd forgotten to feed or care for them, and had I not found them at that exact moment, they would have died.

A few nights ago, my last night in New York, actually, I found the kittens again. This time they were curled up in the comforter on my bed, and when I stretched the comforter up to my neck, they rolled out. They were furry and healthy, vibrant and alive. In the dream two of the kittens looked "normal", but one had the face of an owl. Even in the dream I was aware that owls represent wisdom, and this was one cool cat.

Since any dream therapist worth their salt will tell you you are ALL the characters/creatures in your dreams, I've always wondered what was up with me and the damn kitties. No question about it, when I've had the "nearly dead" dreams, I've been at my lowest points, completely negligent of caring for myself. I am certainly taking care of myself better now than I ever have, so happy, happy, happy that my kitties are showing up healthy!

Thanksgiving at my sister-in-laws, we all look out her French doors at the mama cat and her two grown "babies".

"They're wild," my sister-in-law tells us.

"They don't like to be touched, petted, or be enclosed in any way. If I just put food and water out, they're happy. They take care of the rest. They stick together, keep each other warm."

I look over the mama and her babies, all the same size now, but two clearly younger than the other. Two put their faces right up near the window for me to see, one is elusive. That's the one upon whom all my attention focuses.

A glimpse, that's all the kitty gives me, but it's enough. No doubt about it. The face? That of an owl.


Jerri said...


Prema said...

Hmmm, I posted the day you wrote this, don't know where it went? Anyway, just wanted to say that your post is very poignant, very moving. I've been haunted by similar dreams/nightmares, which increased exponentially after I had a baby. I love the writing here, Carrie. Powerful.

Michelle O'Neil said...


Ziji Wangmo said...

I love this post - very beautiful and insightful.

Anonymous said...

Sweet, sweet post.

holly said...

Beautiful. I've read this at least five times since you posted it. There is so much to it and I'm happy, happy, happy that your kitties are catching up with you. Such an amazing thing when something shifts so deeply in us that it changes the look of an old familiar dream/nightmare.

Fantastic writing, Carrie.

jennifer said...

Perfect, as are you! Nice work!!