Thursday, November 23, 2006

TOP 10 THINGS LIKELY TO BE SAID BY
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW ON THANKSGIVING

10. The newspaper today was as thick as the Sunday paper, with all those ads.
9. I think while all of those people are out shopping tomorrow, I'l just enjoy staying home.
8. That button on the turkey already popped, and it can't possibly be done!
7. My mother used to serve creamed onions every year, and she was the only one that ate them.
6. I hope you all brought your Tupperware, there are going to be lots of leftovers!
5. The stores are all decorated for Christmas already.
4. That's enought salt, Papa!
3. This time we're having real butter!
2. I'm so full I couldn't eat another bite.
1. Who's ready for pie?

TOP 10 THINGS LIKELY TO BE SAID
BY MY MOTHER ON THANKSGIVING

10. I am not at all happy that that democrat got re-elected as our governor.
9. What is going on with all these meth labes? Do you realize the long-term implications of this epidemic?
8. There is a real spiritual deficit in this country. Did you know that Macy's won't even let their employees say, "Merry
Christmas" now? They have to say, "Happy Holidays."
7. Everywhere I go there are these gambing places disguised as coffee shops. I thought we were keeping all this
gambling withing the Indian reservations to create jobs and help these poor people make something of their lives!
6. I am calling the cable company on Monday and cancelling my subscription. Have you seen the rates? They just keep
going up, while the quality of porgrammiing just keeps going down.
5. Who wants to call ________________ and wish them a happy Thanksgiving? I'm sure they are lonely and thinking of all of
us while they are in rehab.
4. I can never eat enough to make it worth all the trouble of cooking a big Thanksgiving meal. Even if I could, who can
enjoy eating knowthing that one third of the world goes to bed hungry every night!
3. Oh no, no salt for me! You know I have terrible blood pressure! I never salt anything, haven't for years! Of course,
I do love my chips!
2. I'm so full I can't eat another bite.
1. Pie? I'm ready for pie! Just a sliver though!

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cariie,what are doing up at 5:13Am???Have a great Thanksgiving.M

Back At'cha said...

Better you than me, girlfriend!!!

jennifer said...

Hasn't Thanksgiving been done??

Carrie Wanna Be said...

You know what??? My mother and mother in law say the SAME EXACT THINGS...only it's reversed.

God, this is just so weird!!

Carrie Junkie said...

HAHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTEEEEE Wanna Be!!

Anonymous Know It All said...

That's just it, I cannot stand either Wanna Be or Junkie...I know they are the same person!!!

Wanda Wanna Be said...

Tap tap tap

Deep Thinker! said...

So, are you wearing you earplugs during dinner???

Hindu Drummer said...

Save me a drum stick...I'll bring my tabla!!!

Anonymous said...

You gotta love family especially at the holidays........wish you could have been with us....i'm sure if you could have been a fly on the wall or a cranberry in the daiquiri you would have material for a year.......love this pie..ce

PsychoBabble said...

A quiet dinner at home with just my husband, son and self is the perfect remedy and a tradition we started a few years back. We may not have all the great extended family memories that are supposed ot come along with holidays but we don't have the "yuck" either.

Terry Whitaker said...

These are so universal--and so funny!!

Prema said...

Just a quiet dinner for us - BUT - the dialog from mothers and grandmothers, long passed, continued inside my head as I cooked all day, passed each dish around the table. Nothing like this at our table, so I had to tell the stories. It must be so essential to the holiday - this impossible, absurd, hilariously sad, strangely comforting, conversation. You have mastered acute observation!

JessPDX said...

Ya know, you almost make me wish I could have had a real Thanksgiving this year, instead of eating sushi in Vancouver. That family banter in priceless.... Reminds me of my grandmother's sister somehow....