Thursday, March 05, 2009


Was in a mood all day, as you could easily tell by my blog posting.

Couldn't shake it, but also couldn't quite put my finger on what the problem was. My real problem. I had a lot of short answers to that question, but I knew something bigger was underneath.

Then I saw it there, underneath a stack of papers on my desk, the unmistakable manilla envelope holding a stack of ick.

A couple weeks ago we received the large envelope from our attorney. He'd sent us back our wills for review, just a thing he customarily does every five years, as in most cases people's situations have changed, their assets, their lives, the conditions and whereabouts of the people listed as guardians, trustees, etc.

Been putting off talking to STM about the wills, and finding out his thoughts on amending them, thinking the whole thing might go away if I ignored it.

Five years ago we had an almost 8-year-old and an almost 10-year-old. Our friend and family circle held a different shape than it does now. That shape no longer supports the needs of our now almost 13-year-old and almost 15-year-old.

We finally sat down and went through the changes and questions one by one. Do we now need a Special Needs Trust? How can we protect Woohoo? Those we trust enough to raise our kids, God forbid, if something happens to both of us, are raising kids of their own. Their lives are already stressed and their attentions already pulled in all directions, what would putting our two into the mix do to them?

"Adding Rojo to someone's family, could break the family apart," STM said.

Don't I know it.

"It could also save a family," he continued.

Don't I know it.

So that's my funk. Just the little question of who to give my kids to.


Suzy said...

Seriously, I would opt to take care of them in a New York minute.

(that oughta make you and Stan hang on forever)

love you and really mean it.


Angie Ledbetter said...

Reminds me, we need to do a will and have been saying that for years, but haven't acted. When King Rufus returns from his out of town job, we're DOING it. Thank you.

Any family would be blessed to take on either/both of your kids!

Jenny said...

Love STM's comments

jesswilson said...

it's so hard to break into the daily process of life .. the being and doing and fussing and planning and cleaning up after being and doing and fussing and planning and then getting ready to do and be and fuss and plan again to tackle these big issues.

i have a huge, manila envelope of ick on my 'we have to do' list.

#1 on my list .. live forever. just seems easier.

Me said...

You are right! That is a stack of ick!

Michelle O'Neil said...

It's an awful, awful proposition for any parent to think about but for kids with special needs it is near impossible to come up with a good solution.


Robin said...

A will is such a good idea that I ought to look into it. See how much I am in denial. ;)

Wanda said...

OMHOG. No wonder you were in a mood. No one likes to go there...even in trying to be prepared.

Good on you both.


Anonymous said...

Wil can stay with us. No needed Wil's Will. He already is our family's Will. Kunga will love to have a big bro like he always says. And i don't need to go YOGA while we can play basket ball all the time. After all, everything is IMPERMANENT we never know who gonna go first. OM MANI PADMAY HUM.

Stacy Quarty said...

Once you've got it done you'll feel a whole lot better. And don't worry about making the wrong choices. You can always go back and change it. We changed our kids' guardians 3 times- when my sister got divorced, when my bro-in-law got cancer and when my sis-in-law lost her mind.

Drama Mama said...

Can you just send Rojo to me now?

Jerri said...

Those are tough choices, tough thoughts to consider.

Love STM's comments.

kario said...

Something tells me you already know the answer to this question. It will just take some uncomfortable 'sitting with it' time to make the answer clear. My advice? Listen to your dreams this week, my friend. You are one smart cookie.

Love you all.

Tanya @ Teenautism said...

I just did mine two weeks ago!! It was not fun. I sat at my desk and cried all afternoon as I went through it. I guess I should feel better now that it's done, but I just feel weird. Ick is right.

She said...

I'd take them too! In a heartbeat!