Monday, November 17, 2008

MENDING FENCES

I've had lots of friendships in my life, and by and large the ones that have ended, have died from natural causes. But there are two cases where the friendship ended in more like a bloody murder, with lots of drama and finger pointing and deeply wounded egos.

Well, this whole surrender "thing" I'm working on has a side effect I hadn't counted on - guess that's the whole point, a full surrender includes surrendering to the unknown. Long story short, I am going to be having coffee soon with both of these women.

"It's time to mend fences," I told Kathleen, even thinking as the phrase left my mouth, that that was an odd choice of words.

You see, boundaries were the problem, at least for me. I'm just not that great at maintaining them, and when I come across someone skilled at stomping on them, I have easily let that happen, then sat with righteous indignation right on top of the collapsed "fence."

I've always struggled with "Being a good Christian" vs. being a strong self-advocate.

The Universe, with its sense of humor, is giving me two big tests that feel critical to my personal evolution. How to strike peace, be loving and kind, while remaining true to myself.

I'll let you know how it goes.

16 comments:

CQS said...

Go Girl! You'll be fine. Fences can have gates.

Nancy

Angie Ledbetter said...

Pulling for ya!

Kathryn said...

I am interested in knowing how it goes; I have struggled in the same way.

Joanne said...

It's good to mend the fence. I've found sometimes, too, that the fence is necessary in a relationship.

Michelle O'Neil said...

I'm all for fences. Good strong sturdy ones that serve their purposes. I'm also all for rising above them if and when the time is right.

Take very good care of you.

Love.

Jerri said...

"strike peace" Interesting word choice. : )

You are indomitable, Carrie. I'm grateful to have a seat on the sidelines of your life.

Blessings on you and those on the other side of the fence.

Wanda said...

You go! And just remember, sometimes the places that were broken need to be built up so they become less penetrable than before. It's all about maintaining integrity.

Lola said...

:) what is meant to be will be and peace will be 'found' again
xoLo

Terry said...

I can't wait to hear how it goes! PS Thanks for your support.

deb said...

I'm not so good with my boundaries either. I tend to waver between letting people stomp on me and telling people to fuck off. I'm sure there's a happy medium somewhere in between, I'm hoping I'll find it one day.

marge said...

Mending fences is a hard thing to do but necessary to move on. It feels so good when I've done some mending work. Of course that is when it is all over. Thinking of you.

Go Mama said...

Wishing you well on the mending...
Stand up for yourself and surround yourself in love.

Amber said...

This is a good thing. It will be a good thing. ;)

I get the whole "good Christian" thing... I have worried about that sometimes. But I feel like it has held back healing in many ways, and that is NOT what God wants for us.

:)

kario said...

Because I'm so far behind on reading this, I am feeling a little panicky about it all.

Because it's none of my damn business whether or not you might be 'ready' to have coffee with one particular person I'm thinking of, I'll keep my mouth shut.

Instead, I'll just breathe deeply and hold you in a circle of white light and warmth and love.

Honestly.

She said...

Remember to stay true to your heart and all will work itself out in the way its supposed to, and you won't have lost yourself!

Love. Love. Love.

WENDEE HOLTCAMP said...

Boy don't I know this one - as you know I've blogged about this in the past!! :) Good for you for maintaining your fences with a gate. Keep us posted :)