Tuesday, June 08, 2010


"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you..."

From the song "For Good" from the musical, "Wicked"

I do know I believe that's true.

Been thinking so much lately about friends, and without exception, they've all changed me for good, and for good.

Eavesdropped today on two elderly women talking about hearing aides. "Well, Sue just had so many problems with hers, I don't know, I don't think I'll get one," said the one with a freshly coiffed grey bob.

"Oh, that's ridiculous," said the one with impossibly red hair. "What kind of problems? What do you mean problems? She's probably just not using it right! You know you have to get it in just the right place in your ear or it doesn't work."

"Oh, I don't know," said Grey Bob, "Maybe if I get to a place where I really need one, I'll do it."

"You ARE at that place," said Impossibly Red.

I instantly vowed to be Impossibly Red, and not Grey Bob someday. Maybe even starting tomorrow.

A tricky thing, though, honesty. Not much good unless it's coming from a place of love and requested. I've tried to force it down other's throats. I've tried it at the top of my lungs. I've tried it with righteous indignation. Doesn't work.

What is our sacred contract with each other, to hold space? To listen? To observe? Just to love? To call BS on? To declare, "You ARE at that place?" What's the role of a friend? Does it depend on the friend? Probably.

Consider yourself warned, however, if you ask me what I think, I'm likely to tell you.


Elizabeth said...

Oh, I love this. I've been having similar thoughts lately, but they scare me. And then I think that I need to retreat into some sort of cave and come out when I feel loving again. Or at least, tolerant.

Wanda said...

Me, too.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Honesty has become such a foreign value or virtue or whatever, that it gets a really bad rap whenever it is spoken these days. Speak it, girlie!

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Love Impossibly Red! I want to be her too!

deb said...

I think about this a lot. a lot.
I'm not very confrontational, or honest , or any of it.
I am usually a listener, or a round about suggester.

The last few years I've found a new voice, and I don't know if it is coming from a place of older and wiser and more confidant, or from anger and resentment. It started around the time my best friend passed away , so I'm leaning toward anger. I struggle with this so much.

thanks for posting this, honestly, it relates directly to something that happened last week that is still bothering me, so I need to revisit this.

Jerri said...

Thank you. You could not possibly know how much I needed to read this today.

I'm going to put a Post-It note on my desk: Be Impossibly Red.

Thank you.

One Mom said...

As it should be!

Impossibly Red is one of my new heroes.

jess said...

someone needs to start a blog called impossibly red. now.

Anonymous said...

Yes, BE impossibly RED. If it is who you are then BE it! Love this. Love thinking about friendships and reminders of what kind of friend I need to be.

Deb Shucka said...

"Oh, that's ridiculous," said the one with impossibly red hair. I love this line, and the spirit it reveals.

And this: "You ARE at that place," said Impossibly Red.

As ET would say, as long as you're fully present –

I count on you to speak the truth, see you as a model for telling truth in the clearest (often funniest) way possible.

GREAT post!

fullsoulahead.com said...

Impossibly Red.

Might be your new blog. LOVE IT!

Amber said...

Thank God.


pixiemama said...

Love it, love it. Move over gray bob.

kario said...

One of my most favorite things about you, as a matter of fact, is that tendency to speak from your heart. No mind games with you, just love and honesty. That's the way it oughta be.

Love you.