Carrie Link

The Rage Retreat was AMAZING. All that I took in is still liquid, and I need just a little more time for it to set, before I can do it the justice it so deserves. So, you're going to get a little Top 10 list today...

TOP 10 WAYS YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT ON RETREAT ANYMORE

10. You get to the airport early so you have time to shop for gifts for the kids.
9. There is nothing your son will like in any of the first 10 shops you go to.
8. You run around the airport like a crazy person until you finally find an Oakland Raiders mini football.
7. You take the tiny football to the counter and the woman says, "That'll be $16.99 plus tax."
6. You don't think twice about blowing twenty bucks on a ridiculous tiny football, but you do wonder how it can possibly be that expensive.
5. Before you get in the house you recover the football from your purse so you can give it to Rojo the second you walk in the door.
4. He is hiding (noisily) behind a couch and you have to "find him."
3. While you pretend to not know where he is, you grab scissors and cut the tags off the football, because you know if you don't, that's the first thing he will do, and he will cut into the football and you'll be sewing the damn thing immediately.
2. You make him pick a hand, he guesses correctly the football is in your left hand. You present the football excitedly.
1. He lights up when he sees it, gives it a squeeze and it begins shouting Raiders cheers. He throws the football on the ground (starting the cheers all over again) and tears up. Toys with noise are not his friend. You now know why the football cost $16.99 plus tax, and you cut open the football, throw in the outside garbage where he can see you doing it, the part that makes the noise, and sew the football back together before you have even had a chance to pee.